my sweet (big) boy

Eight years ago today (June 14) our oldest son, J, did something for me that only he can lay claim to: he made me a mom.

Born in Guatemala, J was already in the U.S. when he was placed with us unexpectedly. We had 5 DAYS to prepare for his arrival -- yeah, we had virtually nothing. Most babies come home to beautifully decorated nurseries that have been waiting for months. Our son came home to a crib (that he hated) set up in our study. Know what? He doesn't seem scarred by the lack of Winnie the Pooh.

On that day eight years ago, we were called by our attorney to get to court -- and to bring a car seat just in case. We nervously waited our turn to speak with the judge and to hear her decision. When we walked out holding J, we were in total amazement. As we drove to M's dad's office to introduce him (on his birthday!!) to his newest grandchild, I kept looking back over my shoulder to the baby in the backseat and saying, "How did this happen?? We really didn't have much to do with this did we? No, really. How did this happen?"

After a very long journey to become a mom, it was just plain shocking to realize that I had a child in the car and he was mine. He was beautiful, healthy, and mine. This is a child that looks nothing like me, that shares none of my dna, and who has gifts beyond my imagination. Regardless of our differences, he was born from my heart if not from my body and has a claim on a large part of my soul. When I think of what had to occur for J to become our son, I am in awe and wonderment. I thank God everyday for this gift of a child.

There really is more than one way to become a parent. Trust me.
"The Spirit moves in mysterious ways."

Love you my sweet boy.

clean up clean up everybody everywhere!

Alert! Alert! I think we have again reached a new stage!

Over the weekend, hubby and I started talking about things we wanted to do around the house -- mainly organizational. Many people know that I can't stand clutter and "stuff" piling up. Drives me crazy. (By the way, this is only in my own house; other people's clutter is other people's clutter.) My dream is the day when we can live minimally and not have so much crap in the house, which I inevitably have to clean. (It will help when J either stops being a pack rat or goes off to college. "No, mom! Don't throw away that paper/wrapper/toilet paper roll -- I'm using that!") I've lived with the clutter and accumulation of stuff over the past 6.5 months because I have had more important things to deal with.

But this weekend, while discussing some things we could do to reorganize and jobs we could tackle, it occurred to me that I was ready. I am ready to take on house projects again!! The ideas we have aren't big ones, but it makes me feel like the big ones can be done. I am sure this has to be meaningful. Please don't burst my bubble if it's not because it sure feels like a step forward.

Now here's the challenge: holding on to the motivation until the time when we can actually put some of our ideas into action -- likely next weekend. Oh, and trying to make it happen while refereeing the 3 kiddos. Now THAT would be something to crow about!

:)

latest and greatest mumblerrr news

School's out! Everybody shout!

Can't believe it. J is now a 3rd grader. Not sure how that happened. After a successful second grade year, we are hoping for more of the same in the fall. Although if we can get him to expand his vocab beyond certain body parts and functions, we will be quite pleased.

In other news. . .

The mama has gone back to work! I have recently taken a part-time position with a local university, and I love it. As a result of this employment, E and S have started spending a few hours at daycare. I was a bit concerned, especially with E and how he would do, but after a few shy sessions, he is jumping right in. "School" is a big hit with newest Mumblerrrs.

S comes home everyday with a new craft, or "crap," as she calls her creations. Not because it looks like crap, but because that is how she says the word. "Look at the crap I made today, mommy! It's a turtle!"

In more S school stories, apparently one of the teachers was asking for volunteers to play a card game. She was hoping for one of the slightly older kids, but S was the one who wanted to play. She didn't think S would get it, but she sat her down and explained the game anyway. The teacher then asked S to explain it back to her, and she was surprised when S did it. She told M that S was one smart little girl. Imagine her surprise when M said, "And you know she has only been speaking English for 6 months, right?" Uh, nope. Apparently that word hadn't gotten to her.

E, still the mama's boy, seems to be well into his terrible twos before actually hitting that magic number. S is in the "why" phase. Everything has to be followed up with a question. Have to admit, it is driving me nuts at times. J is showing more and more moments of enjoying his sibs. I was shocked the other night when S went to say goodnight to him and he actually told her he loved her. (insert scooby-doo reaction: huhhhh?!) It may have just been a mindless goodnight reaction, but it's a start!

Happy summer everyone!

:)

6 million minus 2

Thanks to Jenni for this CNN link:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/africa/05/20/ethiopia.children/index.html

"We have nothing to feed our children."

6 million children under the age of 5 are at risk.

more than 120,000 have only about a month to live.

Mother Nature brings us earthquakes and cyclones and tornadoes. She hits the world unexpectedly and shocks us with her devastation. Our compassion compels us to send aid and resources to help those in desperate need. Unfortunately, we sometimes forget that Mother

Nature can also be silent and still be horrendously devastating. As she quietly withholds the rains for days and weeks and months, she brings about the starvation of millions.

I look at my two Ethiopian children under the age of 5, and I can't help think about what might have been. It turns my stomach and forces me to push the thought away. My children. All three with plenty of food. All three with clean water. All three with access to health care and medicines.

The children in Ethiopia and others across the globe are all God's children. Therefore, they are all our children. They are all my children. Please do what you can.

parentitis, a sensibility disease

You know, there are times in our lives when we make senseless choices. Maybe we guzzled too much cheap beer or actually enhaled that weed. Maybe hormones were making us stupid. Or maybe it was peer pressure -- everybody was doing it!

Or maybe we became parents.

On Sunday, J and I went to the monthly gathering for Central Ohio Families of Latin American Children (COFLAC) and had a great time. While he played on the jungle gym/climbing thingy, I got to have some adult conversation with the other parents. We were talking about work when one of the moms remarked that she went back to work part-time. She said that when they adopted their first child that she left her full-time job to stay home. Then, they realized that since she was staying home anyway that maybe they should go ahead and adopt a second child. She said, "It made no sense: We cut our income in half and more than doubled our debt."

Said that way, she was right. It made no sense. However, as someone who adopted 2 and chose to stay home for awhile, it made perfect sense to me. There is something about being or becoming a parent that seems to encourage us to make choices that others find completely crazy. More than once M and I have made decisions that I am sure have left others scratching their heads. (Like the time we moved to San Antonio without jobs. Or the time we moved to St. Louis without jobs. Or the time we moved to Ohio without jobs. Well, technically Mark had one but it disappeared before we moved and then reappeared later.) And while I would admit that perhaps we could have more money and more stuff and more advanced careers, I am guessing that we wouldn't have the children we have (and perhaps would be child free), wouldn't have lived in different cities, wouldn't now live as close to our friends and families as we do, and would not have experienced the variety and spice of life that we have to this point. Trust me, I will take all of that over the feeling that I didn't follow my heart, my gut, my instincts.

So, if you are a parent or are about to become one and you find yourself making choices that most would consider stupid or insane, don't worry. At some point, you will find yourself making sensible choices again. But, I think there are times in our lives when we are pushed to do things that sound nutty when spoken out loud. As long as you are not under the influence of mind-altering substances, I give you permission to accept the craziness. Follow your heart, your gut, your instincts and give your child some raspberries on the belly. Their laughter will justify it all.

:)

the American way

Sometimes we allow ourselves to be ignorant until a child speaks a truth and forces us to acknowledge the way things really are. Take the words of our 3.5-year-old daughter, S:

"When something breaks, we throw it away and go buy a new one!"

Hm. What is really sad about this statement is that in our household we try really hard not to do that. Our recycle bins seem to always be overflowing. While our neighbors' garbage cans often appear to be bursting, ours looks relatively empty. (We can skip a week of trash pick-up and it's usually no biggie.) We have a dishwasher and microwave that have seen better days, but they still work perfectly fine. Clothes get sent to resale shops or are turned into things like cleaning rags. Used paper is either recycled or turned into scratch paper for my list making or scribbling for the kids. Leftovers are a food staple.

But for all we try to do, I know it is nothing like what we experienced in Ethiopia. Food is served again and again until there is nothing left. Paper is precious and not many things come in the disposable variety. The idea that things are just thrown away without being used a gazillion times is unthinkable. I mean, you go out, buy a chicken, cut its head off, de-feather it, and cook it for dinner. There is no plastic wrap and foam tray to throw away, and you get more than just the drumsticks for your meal. This is how life is not just in Ethiopa but in most of the countries outside of the western world.

It all makes me pause and fills me with guilt.
It also tells me that there is more of their culture that we need to hold on to.

to ALL the mama's: happy mama's day to you!

This is going to be a 2-part post.

Part 1: Mama's Day in the Mumblerrr! House

After J's soccer game yesterday, we were driving home and he started talking about how he and dad needed to go out and get me something for Mother's Day. I declared, "No, you do not need to buy anything. I want to sleep in tomorrow. Let me do that, and that will be the best present ever." Well, as the day went on, he continued to talk about it. (Oh, and by the way, he had already brought home a potted flower in a decorated foam coffee cup from school.) I had been wanting to talk to him about honoring his birth mother as well because that is a tradition we haven't really started with him. So, I used this as an opportunity, and he thought it was a great idea! Therefore, today our plan is to have a meal we enjoy, pick out a special dessert, and raise our glasses in honor of not just me, but of all of our birth mothers: the kids', mine, dad's and even Willoughby the cat. We then plan to watch a movie and play games.

So did I get to sleep in this morning? Somewhat. J came into our room and snuggled up around 7-ish. S soon followed but she was more awake. E was actually the last to wake up (wow!) but he, of course, needed to come in and climb all over the mama and put elbows in uncomfortable places. M made a quick trip out of the house in order to bring home a box of donuts from Tim Horton's and my only coffee drink, a cafe mocha. J also gave me a homemade card with 3o cents in it. (I'll try not to spend that all in one place.) They then went to church and left me at home to enjoy a few quiet minutes here with the blog. Aaaaaahhhhhh! Happy Mama's Day to me!!

Part 2: How to be Totally Offensive 101: A Lesson from Teleflora

So, Teleflora decides to have one of those best-mom-in-the-world contests. Great. But for some idiotic reason, they felt the need to define "mom" and actually came up with a "non-mom" mom category:
http://www.americasfavoritemom.com/mothers-day-2008/static/semiFinalists
"The non-mom mom category
Grandparent, stepmom, or mom to adopted children, each one raising and loving a child. A priceless gift for everybody."

Excuse me, but WTH!!!!! After all that I have gone through to become a mom, and all that I have done since becoming a mom, how DARE they even suggest that I am a NON MOM just because my children weren't vaginally birthed by me or sliced out of my uterus. I cannot express how incredibly ANGRY this makes me. I know there are plenty of people out there who do not equate adoption with birthing a child, but those people are idiots and should not adopt. And, apparently, those people also should not run favorite mom contests!!

Well, Teleflora received plenty of backlash from the adoption demographic out there, and here is how they apologized but still managed to miss the point:

"Thank you for contacting Teleflora to share your thoughts about the"Teleflora presents America's Favorite Mom" program. In response to your concerns, Teleflora is immediately changing the name of our "Non-Mom" category to "Adopting Moms." After closer examination, we can see how this may have been offensive to moms who have adopted children -- moms who are indeed real moms to their children in every sense of the word. In fact, many of us atTeleflora are "adopting" parents ourselves, including our president and owner. The essence of this category still focuses on a grandparent, neighbor, step mom, or mom to adopted or foster children, each one raising and loving a child.This show of insensitivity on our part was in no way intended and we deeply apologize for any concern or distress we may have caused. It was always our intent to salute and celebrate all moms. In closing, all of us at Teleflora would like to offer our sincerest best wishes to all the many women throughout the world who have worked so hard and given so much to earn the name "Mom."Sincerely, The America's Favorite Mom Team."

So, I guess they think they make it all better by just changing the name of the category, and don't realize that just having a separate category is offensive all by itself! Talk about shit for brains. Who hires these people?? So can you guess who has never used Teleflora and now who never will?
Hey, Sugardaddy's makes a nice gift!
Happy Mama's Day to ALL the mama's!
:)