NONE-YA!

This is how I would like to respond to some people. None. Of. Your. Business. We are still getting that question that drives me crazy:

"So were they brother and sister? I mean, before you adopted them?"

NONE-YA!

Ok, I know I can be harsh at times, but I can't bring myself to give a mean, smart-ass response to these nice, well-meaning, nosey people. So, what I usually end up saying is something like this:

"Yes, but all 3 of my kids are brother and sister because they have the same parents now. Biology isn't important in our house."

This is my attempt to answer their question but to also let them know they are asking an inappropriate question. I mean, am I wrong here? Is there really any reason why someone I barely know (and often have just met) needs to know if my 2 youngest children are biologically related??

Makes me want to turn the tables on people. Something like, "Oh, do both of your biological children have the same father?" or "So were you able to get pregnant naturally or did you have to use fertility drugs?" I mean, can you imagine asking a single mom if both of her kids had the same dad? Or asking a preggers woman if she had a little help from Clomid?

So what about people who adopt 2 unrelated children at the same time. There are some agencies out there who will let families adopt 2 unrelated children from Ethiopia at the same time. There are various theories on whether this is a good idea or not, but I won't get into that now. I'm sure these people get the same none-ya-business question, and I am very curious about how they handle it. Also curious about how the nosey people respond when/if the AP says, no, they are not biological siblings. You see, I always get something like, "Oh, it is so nice that you could keep them together!" So, what does one say when the kids are not related? Gee, that's too bad? Oh, that must be hard? Or, do they manage to find something positive to say?

The lesson I have learned (and hope to pass on) is to think before you ask. It is hard to know what might be private info and what isn't. But it shouldn't be too hard to figure out what kind of info isn't really necessary for me to know. (That whole need-know-basis thing.) And I think a person's dna would fall into that category.

Ok. Done venting. Thanks for reading.
:)

bite-sized mumbles

* The other day M called S "smartypants." S became quite upset with dad regarding this name-calling and asked him to please not call her "sweatypants" anymore. So, of course, we now call her sweatypants all the time.

* E has a new learning strategy. When he wants to know what something is, he points to it and says, "Name?" I love it. I've never seen a kid do it like this before. Usually kids say, "What dat?" But E apparently has figured out that everything has a "name" and, therefore, he is going to use the proper terminology. What a smartypants. :)

* J is actually ready to go back to school. I can't believe it. 2.5 weeks to go. Let's hope 3rd grade lives up to expectations.

* Those who know me know that I rarely shop for our clothes in a regular store. I prefer second-hand. Not only is it better for the environment, but it is waaaaayyyyy cheaper and I don't give a rat's ass if something gets ruined. So, last week I went to my favorite local thrifty-type store to shop for back-to-school clothes for J and work clothes for me. I bought 22 separate items -- a ton of shirts for him and a ton of pants for me. $32.87. Yes, I am the queen and my husband loves me for it.

* Took the kids to Toys R Us yesterday just for fun. S and E had never been there. We walked in, and they had to stop at practically each game or toy and inspect it. M sooned realized that it was going to take us forever to make it through the store. Somehow, we not only made it out of the store, but we did it without buying anything or anyone having any tantrums because of it. I'm not sure if that makes us good parents or bad parents. (Hmmm. . . take kids to a toy store and not buy them anything . . . ok, maybe it just makes us crazy stupid.)

* S's birthday is coming up, and she can't wait. E, of course, is ready to have another one. What is funny is that they don't yet get the concept of having one per year. Understanding time is hard enough (if not impossible) and the idea that you only have one birthday but you get to have it again someday just doesn't compute. J told S that he has had 8 birthdays and she didn't believe him.

* Did you know that all 3 of our kids are copycats? Make. It. Stop. !!! (Actually, it is kind of funny when E does it because he's only 2.)

* And one political bit: How cool is my dad?? My dad is a 79-year-old caucasian man who grew up in a coal-mining town in Kentucky. He is a Korean War veteran who served on the USS Missouri, and he has spent most of his adult life in a small, conservative, Republican town in western Ohio -- my hometown. He has been known to have his prejudices, but he has come a long way in changing. He has also been known to not like George W. Bush. So, I just had to ask him: Dad, who are you voting for? He looked at me like it was obvious and said, "Barack!"
Yea, Dad!! If he can see it, then I have hope for others as well.

* Ok, two political bits: Can someone please make Grampy McSame stop talking?? His voice sounds like it should belong to some evil hypnotist in a bad B movie, "my friends". Oh, and the smile has to go. Just reinforces the evil hypnotist notion. Besides, if something obviously isn't a natural, comfortable thing for you to do, then just don't do it. blehhhhh.

Stepping down off my box now.
:)

the big screen and the big pool

Way back when we were in line with China and waiting for an infant girl, I always perused our agency's waiting child list. These were children of various ages and with various health conditions. Some were perfectly healthy but because of age were considered hard to place. Others had conditions that were fairly easy to treat, like cleft lip/palate, club foot, skin conditions, etc. It was during this time that I started to realize that our next child didn't have to be an infant. Maybe a toddler? Maybe a preschooler? Maybe older? In many ways I was somewhat scared of the idea, but I also couldn't seem to stop myself from falling in love with these beautiful children. How amazing for these kiddos to touch so many lives -- I know that I wasn't the only one falling for them -- and they will probably never know the impact they had.

At one point, I finally put the question out there to those in the virtual adoption society. What's it like to adopt an older child? I got lots of great feedback, but the one that really stuck with me was one with a wonderful message of "firsts." The writer told me not to fret over lost firsts -- that there would be plenty more to marvel over. Now that we have been home for 8 months with our now 2-year-old and soon-to-be-4-year-old, I have found how true that advice was.

Take this past week.

M took J and S to see the new Pixar movie in the theater. It was S's first time going to the movies. When she came home, you should have seen her face! It was like she had just experienced the most amazing thing in the world.

"Mommy! We watched a really big movie, and it was really loud!" As she described it all, her eyes and her smile could not contain her excitement. It became obvious that she really didn't understand the movie, but that didn't seem to matter. How cool was this??

But the new adventures didn't end there. On Saturday, we finally took the kids to the pool. Yeah, I'm very aware that we are more than half way through summer, but we do have valid reasons for waiting so long. One would be my new job. Makes trips to the pool only possible on the weekends. Strangely, our weekends this summer have been booked with one thing or another, so leisurely days at the pool haven't happened. The other big factor is that it really takes both parents to take all 3 kids to the pool -- with S and E not swimming yet, just wouldn't be safe otherwise.

So, we go to the pool. At most, the kids have seen one on tv. We didn't stay at a hotel in Ethiopia, and haven't been to one or seen one since coming home. Had no idea how they might react. Would they be fish or chickens? Um, yeah, total fish. It was their first time in a swimming pool, and S kept trying to "swim" away from Dad. Both wanted to jump in over and over, and they even went underwater. Have to say, I was shocked. Guess we don't have to worry about having scaredy-cat kids at swim lessons, now do we? Zowee!! (Oh, and I should probably mention that we didn't have any noodles or other floaty devices.)

I know there will be more firsts to come. A ton more. If they are anything like the movies and the pool, then life should be a blast. How lucky am I?
:)

pics!!

Nothing really to say. Just wanted to share some photos of our summer so far. Someday I will take the time to learn to post a slideshow. Enjoy!

so much to tell, so little time. . .

Where to begin?? How about on Thursday. . .

After working until 6:00 that evening, I came home to a wonderful dinner and packed bags. No, I wasn't being tossed to the curb. We were heading out of town! By 8:00, Moby (the great white minivan/whale) was gassed up, we had our Tim Horton's cafe mochas, and the dvd player was fired up for some mind-numbing entertainment. E was out by 8:35.

About 7 (ish) hours later, we arrived in St. Louis for our long weekend. We tip-toed into my FIL's house and found our place to crash. After telling the kids to sleep in, they woke the next morning around 7:30. Great. We decided to take the morning slow and work our way to nap time and a more human feeling. I can't speak for anyone else, but I had a fabulous snooze on the couch.

Finally, in the afternoon, we decided it was time to take the kids on an adventure. But where? There are so many cool things to do with kids in St. Louis -- the zoo, the Magic House, City Museum, Grant's Farm, the Science Center, the Butterfly House. Well, how about Grant's Farm? It's FREE, we get to see animals, and we can ride on a train through the oppressive St. Louis-in-July weather. Wonderful idea! Except we got there five minutes after they closed the parking lot. Damn. Ok. Off to the zoo.

Now I have to admit that I'm not much of a zoo person. I always end up going when it is about 95 degrees and all the animals have chosen to hide somewhere and sleep. There's also the whole thing about wild animals being kept in contrived environments, but we won't get into all that. So, off to the zoo. Parked for FREE. Entered for FREE. Paid $9.00 for a double stroller and $4.50 for a big bag of popcorn and some animal crackers. (Love that!) After seeing some impressive reptiles, stinky monkeys, a very adorable baby giraffe, and absent big cats, I was melting into the pavement. Then my smart hubby decided it was time to visit the penguins and puffins. AAAAHHHH! It was so wonderfully cold in there! And, oh, were those penguins and puffins cute! (Don't tell J I used that word.)

We finally decided it was time to hit the road, and M was kind enough to retrieve Moby and pick us up in front of the zoo. As we were heading back to my FIL's house, we called Imo's and ordered a couple of pizzas for dinner. We were almost to Webster Groves when I asked, "Where's the diaper bag?" "I gave it to you." "You did? I don't have it." Uh oh. Back to the zoo. It was sitting right where M had left it with me.

Back at home, we devoured our Imo's and prepped for our next to-do: Celebrating E's 2nd birthday!! He actually turned 2 on Sunday, but since we would be driving in the car, we decided to celebrate it on Friday night. With the help of Elmo party supplies, some balloons blown up by J, and cake and ice cream provided by Papi, we officially ushered in the terribly terrific twos. An age we will call the "Me Do" age because E insists on doing everything himself. I can't believe I have a 2-year-old again. I better enjoy it while I can.

Saturday brought more adventures: The Children's Hope Reunion Picnic! We met up with some of our favorite CHI Ethiopian families and enjoyed some good times. Honestly, though, I have to admit that one of the best parts for me was seeing the wonderful woman who coordinated our adoption of J and having him meet her. Another highlight was viewing a photo album from Ethiopia that had several pics of S and E. Seeing them in their first orphanage made me want to cry. Fortunately, not everything was emotional -- lots of kids from around the world playing and parents comparing notes was a joy to be a part of. It was really cool to finally meet so many people that up until then had only been virtual. (Wow! You all are real!!)

After some nap time at home, the Ethiopian families headed to one of my favorite places in St. Louis: Rigazzi's. After some salad, t-ravs, and baked ravioli, I was a happy mama. But I was about to become happier: Ted Drewes!! Yummy concretes. (After all this goodness, I had to sit in the back of Moby with J and his aching belly -- he had eaten waaaay too much. Can't blame him. Easy to do there.)

After getting the kids in bed, M and I worked on packing up. After driving over at night with the kids mostly asleep, I was wary of what Sunday would bring. Driving 7 to 8 hours with the kids during the day?? Are we nuts?? Yep. And guess what? They were marvelous! I am still amazed at how well we all did. Good thing -- we're going back later this year and have to make the drive again. Woo Hoo!

Aunt Jen ROCKS!!!!

Ya know, we have a lot of wonderful people in our life. Some really nice, cool, wonderful people. Then we have our Aunt Jen. If your kids do not have an Aunt Jen, then I highly recommend you go find one.

Technically, "Aunt" Jen isn't an aunt, but she has more than earned that title with all of the special attention she slathers on the kids. She and J have a very close relationship, and she's beginning to develop bonds with the little ones, too. I think after this weekend she has climbed a bit higher on the S and E scale of good people to know. Why? Two words:

King's Island. (A very fab amusement park north of Cincy.)

Through her work, Jen provided our entire family with free tickets, a parking pass, and drink wristbands. (The coolest thing: wear a wristband, walk up to a snack bar, ask for a coke/sprite/root beer, walk away with it for FREE.) Unbelievable. Added bonus: being able to hold the trip over J for good behavior. S and E, of course, had no clue what King's Island was, and we really had no context for them. (S pointed to the elaborate playground at the McDonald's close to the park and thought that it was King's Island. Uh, no sweetie, just you wait.)

Overall, the kids did great. One of my favorite moments came while standing in line with S for the little kid roller coaster in Nickelodeon land. There were a few different characters walking around, but S had no clue who they were -- we don't have cable. She kept calling Sponge Bob "Cheese Bob" because to her he looked like a piece of cheese. I think I would have to agree with her on that one. Anyway, Jimmy Neutron walks over and puts his hand out to her, and she dutifully slaps his hand and gives him five. She then looks down for a moment and then up at me and just giggles and giggles. It was a moment of pure little kid pleasure. In that moment, I thought about where she was last year and how far she has come. Once a child living in an orphanage 3 hours outside of Addis Ababa, then to a transition home in Addis Ababa, with little if anything to call her own, she was now standing in line to ride a little roller coaster and interacting with a cartoon character. She had spent the day eating pizza, running through a water playground, and riding on cars that went in circles. She was far from that land that lacked its secondary rains and, therefore, was facing a famine that may rival that of the '80s. A land running out of food and the doctors have to choose which kids get the PlumpyNut. Instead, she was smiling and laughing and asking what we call this and that. It was a hard moment, and I know, just like with J, I will have more of them.

On a lighter note, one fun moment was standing in line for a ride with J and watching him dance because he needed to go potty. Soon after, we actually had to get out of line at another ride so he could go go go. Yeah, I was happy about that one. E was maybe a bit overwhelmed by it all, but he really did great -- even took a little nap! We paid for this great behavior on the way home when he decided he just had to hold my hand for most of the trip -- that's with me sitting up front and contorting my arm back to him. Yeah, he needed to go to bed.

When we left the park, we completed the day with a little more junk food for the trip home -- Burger King. At one point, I looked back to see all 3 kids wearing their Burger King crowns. How appropriate, my friends. How appropriate.

So, we owe Aunt Jen the biggest thank you in the world. I never feel like I am able to do enough to repay her for her kindness and generosity. But someday, Jen, I will figure it out.

All kids should have an Aunt Jen because she ROCKS!!
:)

HOLY CRAP!!

I'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR FIFTEEN YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday, June 19th, marked 15 years since I walked half-way down the aisle, took the arm of the love of my life, and continued on to the altar with him to make our vows, exchange our rings, and seal it with a kiss.

He still calls me his bride.

As with many things in our life together, I am sure there were many who thought we were nuts for getting married a month after my college graduation. But hey, it was just the start of our craziness together. So, neener-neener-neener to all you doubters out there!

So, what did we do to celebrate our FIFTEEN YEARS of wedded bliss? We got a babysitter (the magnificent Hannah) and went out on a date! Can you believe it?? We left all 3 kids at home and went out for a fabulous dinner at Rosendale's. Easily the best restaurant in Columbus. After our leisurely meal, we strolled the Short North and reveled in the hip-happenin' atmosphere of the restaurants, shops and galleries.

Ya know, our kids have such a non-conventional family: multicultural, multinational, transracial,
and parents who have only been married once, to each other, before they were all born, and now for 15 years.

How crazy are we??
Happy Anniversary to me and my hubba-hubba honey!