who'd a thunk it?

Many of you know that J went through lots of struggles when his little sister and brother came home last November. While having them was something he very much wanted, it also turned his world upside down. No more Legos in the family room. No more Harry Potter movies before their bedtime. No more mom and dad all to himself. Yeah, there were many tears, arguments, and tantrums from all of us. I will be honest and say that I had my moments of wondering what the heck we had done. Had we ruined his life? Why did we have to go and upset the balance of our family? I always had to stop and rewind back to our reasons for expanding our crew. I had to remind myself that we didn't do this for the short term but for the long term. We knew that the beginning would be rough -- had no idea how rough. (I think it might be kind of like childbirth -- if you truly knew how bad it could be, you might not do it.)

Each week, each month we looked for little signs of progress. J seemed to love his little brother, but he tried too hard and was often rejected. He seemed to simply find S annoying, and he did everything to make everyone's life miserable. J blamed the two of them for everything under the sun. For example: "I wouldn't have spilled my water if she hadn't been looking at me!" Yes, this is a true tale. I was at my wit's end with him when I started noticing that the amount of peaceful time seemed to be increasing. Fewer hateful words words were being used. And something truly bizarre started to happen: They started playing together. Yeah, can you believe it? Sure, it was loud and messy, and sometimes someone got hurt, but they. were. playing. together. Eeeeekkkk!!!

Everything happened a little at a time. We were eventually able to go from having animated arguments to discussions -- albeit stubborn ones at times. J started showing true affection toward E and even occasional moments with S. Usually, though, he was calling her Big Head. (Big Hair would probably be more appropriate, but hey. . .) Part of the problem was that J considered himself separate from them. He was one and THEY were one. This summer, we have seen a shift in this mindset. Perhaps he has seen that they do fight with each other. S tattles on E all the time. For whatever reason, he seems to finally be seeing that they are two separate kids, and maybe they are not the inseparable unit that they came in as.

J attended a sports camp at the Y this summer. Every morning, I would get all 3 kids up, dressed and ready to go by 8:30. We would take him in and he would want hugs goodbye from me and both kids. Well, his hug for S was more like an NBA chest bump -- he would kind of grab her to him and bump into her and then let her go. By the end of the summer, it had turned into a real hug with an occasional kiss thrown in. At bedtime, it is hugs and kisses all around. By my reaction you would think it was an everyday thing, but inside I am screaming with delight! Yeeeeeeee!!!!!!

Oh, but that's not all my cyber friends. We have noticed an obvious shift in S's behavior. She used to copy little brother -- act like a baby. Now? Uh, not so much. Now she is a big girl who is trying to emulate her big brother in everything. How many times has she said something that has been straight out of J's mouth?? Does she really like Pokemon?? And how many more times is she going to rub it into E that she can do things he can't? Oh, we have moved into a totally new dynamic.

For months, J couldn't stand his sister. This past weekend, he had fun buying her a birthday present, making her a card, and planning her party. His words sum it all up:

"I never knew this would be so much fun!"

Yeah, me neither my sweet boy. Me neither. :)