life in the slow lane

I'm working on a post with some additional thoughts about our trip, but it is taking some work so I've decided to move on for now. I'll post that one later. Instead, how about a bit of everyday life?

So how are things going?
What's life like now with 3 kids?
How's everybody sleeping?
Where is everybody sleeping?
How is J doing?

These are some of our typical questions. People seemed to be almost fascinated by what we've done. Adopting from Ethiopia. Adopting 2 kids from Ethiopia. Adopting a toddler and a preschooler. Going from 1 kid to 3. Maybe because we have been dealing with this mentally and emotionally for several months and now in reality for about a month, it just doesn't seem out of the realm of normalcy. Being a blog stalker, I know of many families who are in situations much, um, "stranger" than ours. They have many more kids, they adopt 3 at a time, the kids are school-agers, or maybe the child has a life-threatening illness. Sometimes single women (gasp!) turn their lives upside-down by adopting a child or two. So, I guess just as people are curious about our new family, I tend to be curious by their reactions.

Overall, things are going very well. One of my friends (yes, you Jen K.!) asked me a great question. She wanted to know if things were easier, harder or about what I expected. I was pleased to say that things were about what I expected. Of course, that was during the first week when M was home in the evenings. (It is crazy holiday time at Sugardaddy's.) For the last two weeks and for next week, he has been working the graveyard shift -- goes in at 3 in the afternoon and doesn't get home until 3 in the morning. That leaves me home alone with the kids in the afternoon and evening. Talk about trial by fire.

My biggest challenge has been J. It's like he has 2 new interactive toys that he hasn't quite figured out. E has a piercing scream and S has an annoying squealy whine. J manages to bring out these two wonderful qualities on a regular basis. He is getting better, but he has some work to do. My big question to him is, "How many times do you have to hear that noise before you stop what you are doing??" He has always seemed to think that when told to stop that it means to do it 5 more times.

My other challenge is that the two little ones tend to compete to be held. E has become a big mama's boy after treating me like a redheaded alien with two heads during that week in Ethiopia. S, after having my attention to herself for the most part, now has to share with little brother. As with J, the situation is getting better, but it has its moments. Things are usually much easier when dad is home to help divide and conquer -- unless they are both rejecting dad in favor of the mama. Fortunately, dad is quite charming and soon wins one or both over and my load lightens.

As for not going insane, here's what I decided: It is important to let things go. Is my house as orderly as I would like it to be? Nope, but it's not too bad. I've seen worse. Is the laundry piling up. Yep, but everyone still has clean clothes everyday. Have we put up a Christmas tree yet? Nah. That should happen this weekend. Am I able to project the image of perfection that every American woman/mother is supposed to have? Absolutely not. Don't think I ever did. What I am trying to do is live life at a slower pace than most in America. Transitions, attachment, routines all take time. We've been home for 3 weeks. So, no, we have not gone out and engaged in all kinds of cultural activities or signed them up for Amharic or English lessons. I did not send out Christmas cards with a pic of our beautiful new very multicultural family. Sorry. I have other priorities at the moment. Like spending time giggling with a little boy who has decided I can be his mama, or snuggling with a big boy while watching his favorite movie, or doing a little girl's hair so that it looks like I have a small clue about African hair. I have found that if I concentrate on these important things and let other things go -- no matter what those out there in our hurry-up, judgmental society think -- that I'm doing ok. It will be interesting to see how life evolves.

Well, I have a stinky boy who needs a diaper change. Just another one of those priorities. A smelly one, but one that "ranks" right up there often above all else.
:)