we are soooo not with it

We're not rich. Not by a long shot -- especially after adopting 2 kids. So, when you come to our modest home, you won't find our tv hooked up to cable, a flat-panel hanging on the wall, or a Wii waiting to be played. Our desktop computer is over 4 years old (ancient!) and our digital camera is an inexpensive Kodak. I do have a reasonably-priced laptop which was bought specifically for school and our adoption trip. It has come in handy now that J is vying for computer time.

So why do I share all this? Because we recently found out that this makes for a "boring" life when you are a second grader. Welcome to the world of "Why Don't We Have All of the Stuff All the Kids at School Have?" What makes this interesting is that it isn't about wanting all the stuff because it is fun and we like it, but it is more about fitting in.

You see, when you don't have a big ol' honkin' tv connected to TimeWarner or DishNetwork, you don't get Disney or Nickleodeon or the Cartoon Network or MTV. Therefore, you don't get the movies, the shows, or the commercials. For years, we have been blissfully unaware of what we were missing, and we were more than content to let PBS play in the background. Suddenly, a spotlight is shining on all the ways that make us different, and it doesn't feel so good. Now, it is true that we don't even like some of the s-t-u-p-i-d stuff that others have, but that really isn't the point now, is it?

This turned into a big mom moment. As someone who grew up with waaaay less than my children have -- and not just because a lot of it hadn't been invented yet, it would have been easy to just cut him off with the command to suck it up and to be grateful for what he has, but again, not the point. He needed someone to listen to him, to sympathize with his plight, and to help him figure it out. What struck me was that it was one of our first conversations about "not following the crowd" and "do what you love." It even swayed into the "Just Say No" campaign. I got him to think of a couple of things that the other kids have or do that he would be interested in and that would be appropriate and affordable. In other words, find a couple of ways to "fit in" while you remain true to yourself.

It made me stop and wonder: If we were rich, would we buy all of that stuff? Or, would we use our money in a different way? I would like to think we would not give in to consumerism and what the Joneses have, but it is hard to say. What I do know is that I have a kid who, when he grows up, wants to be a microbiologist, a chef at Sugardaddy's, a Lego designer, a journalist, and President of the United States. (Yeah, I've told him that he can't legally be the last one.) He wants to be ALL of them, not one or the other. I know it is going to be hard for him during these years where it is so important to look like, act like, and be like everyone else. And, although he doesn't understand it now, the day will come when he will proudly proclaim his differences to the world in order to be set apart from all the sheeple out there. (Can we say "college scholarship" please??) But I truly hope that some of these parenting decisions and basic circumstances mold him and our other children into educated, independent, strong adults who think for themselves. The journey will be hard, but I think we will get there. With or without a wii.