go berg!

Tonight I am going to write about my friends. Some say we are a cult; others marvel at our staying power. I think we are simply blessed.

It all began our freshman year at Heidelberg -- way back in 1989/1990. We didn't all live in the same residence hall, although many us did call King Hall home. We didn't all study the same major. (Ok, we didn't all study.) Some pledged a sorority or a fraternity, and some played lacrosse. Some dated each other, and some chose to never consider this. It is difficult to pinpoint the one commonality that brought us together and kept us together. Sure, there were fights, and at least one person who didn't "make the cut" so to speak. But somehow, through graduation, moving across state lines, weddings, children, and even death, we have stayed glued as a unit of friendship and love. How many people can say that they have several college friends that they get together with 2-3 times a year? How many can say that when they leave those friends that they feel an overwhelming sense of blessing?

On Saturday, I got to feel it again. We all gathered at Becky's beautiful house in Cincy for both a donations party and just because it had been awhile since we had been together. Along with some great food and some great company, we were on the receiving end of some terrific orphanage donations and some presents for our kids. Becky and Sean went above and beyond with adorable clothes and some great donations for the House of Hope -- band-aids, soap, detergent packets, alcohol wipes, and toys. I think Eric and Jackie and Bradd and Jennifer had way too much fun getting toys and other donations for the kids at HoH. Tiffany and Rod presented us with crayons, sidewalk chalk, stuffed animals and more. Billie and Dave gave us some incredibly cute clothes -- especially the little girl jeans! And Jen. Jen is one who is almosted as excited as we are and it shows in how she gives of herself. Not only has she already given books/cds for the HoH, but she gave us more for the kids, and she has a large Lands End tote bag on order. To top it all off, she is coming to stay with J while we travel. Now, how can I possibly thank all of them for what they have done? How can I possibly express how much it means? I think the best I can do is return the favor when they need it in their own lives.

Unfortunately, there were a few members of our crew missing for various reasons, and we actually had to cut out early and head home instead of staying over like everyone else. Once again, as we traveled north on I-75 back to Columbus, I reflected on how incredible it is to have these friends in my life. How did I ever get so lucky?

Thanks guys. Love you all.

my guilt-filled hope

Our court date is Monday, October 29th. Of course, since Ethiopia is about 7 or 8 hours ahead of us, theoretically it could be done and over with by the time we wake up. (Well, maybe by the time I wake up; Mark wakes up at stupid o'clock.) So, we are literally hours away from our kids officially becoming our kids by Ethiopian law. This puts me in a really strange emotional place.

You see, Ethiopia requires a surviving birth parent or relative to come to the court hearing and affirm their written decision to place the children for adoption. From what we understand, court takes place in a large room with many people, and each case only takes a few minutes. Either our agency or our children's original orphanage will bring their birth parent/surviving relative in for the hearing -- actually go get them and bring them in.

So here is where I am. I find myself hoping and praying (ok, begging) that all goes well on Monday. Then I realize what I am hoping and praying for: For a loved one to make the supreme sacrifice. I then become racked with guilt. It is so hard to acknowledge the incredible loss that the children and their family are experiencing; however, it has to be acknowledged and we must deal with the grief. I know that it was the awful misfortunes of life that put these 2 beautiful kids in need of a home and parents. Our desire to adopt and be parents didn't create the situation. I totally understand that, but it doesn't keep my heart from hurting any less. So how do I reconcile this? How do I pray and plead for the adoption to sail through court knowing that it means pain and loss for their family? It is, in many ways, an awful position to be in. What I will try to do is focus on the kids and what this will mean for them -- a chance to move past the loss and have a safe, permanent, loving home with two parents, a big brother and an ornery cat. Like almost everything else in adoption, right now I have no control over what happens. I guess I can only ask for it to happen the way it is meant to happen.

So, while you are keeping your fingers crossed for us, please keep the birth family in your thoughts and prayers as well, sending them courage, strength and faith.

strangely calm

At what point do I start freaking out? Should we take a poll? For some odd reason I'm doing pretty well.

I am trying to be very good about taking one step at a time. Yesterday, I contacted a travel agent who has a lot of experience with Ethiopian adoption, so I got that ball rolling. Today, I made some copies of our passports and necessary immigration paperwork. Tomorrow I plan to get a couple of those docs notarized, get my flu shot, and renew my driver's license. (It expires in December, and I don't even want to think about trying to to renew it after we come home.)
Then, later this week, we'll have a phone conversation with our agency regarding travel and any questions we have. I feel like once we get the important absolutely-must-do things out of the way that we can start concentrating on packing.

Packing.

The good thing is that there is a ton of resources and packing lists on the internet to help do this. The bad thing is that there is a ton of resources and packing lists on the internet to help you do this. I want to be organized about this -- I really do. It's part of my nature. But some of the things just boggle my mind. One person talked about sticking things into all the empty spaces, like inside shoes -- and her hotpot. HOTPOT??!!??

You see, I really only want to take what we need. I know there are many things we can take that would be nice and helpful (like a hotpot) and everyone has their opinions about such things, but I am finding myself simply overwhelmed with the suggestions on some of these lists.

I think I am also having one of those days where I feel like we as Americans just have too much crap in our lives that we can't seem to live without. I'll stop there or I may go off on a tangent and rant and rave for awhile.

Anyway, I know there are still things I need to get for the kids before we travel -- more diapers and wipes, lotion, more clothes for little brother, some slip on shoes, etc., etc. But I am forcing myself to wait until I get to that step before I makes lists and buy stuff.

So when do I freak out? Oh, could be any day now. I'll be sure to let you know when it happens.
:)

in through the nose, out through the mouth. . .

. . . in through the nose, out through the mouth. Time to start using those deep breathing exercises. We got the call that we have been waiting for since September, 10. Our court date.

We're scheduled for Oct. 29th. Everybody out there keep your fingers, toes, arms, legs, eyes, and any other body part you are capable of crossing, crossed. (If you happen to have a body crossing skill that you would like to share, please do. We won't think you're weird or anything. Promise.)

Anyway, this means that we can plan to travel a few weeks after that and have been told to expect to go either the week of November 18 (week of Thanksgiving) or the following week on the 25th. For those of you keeping score, this means that our kids will be home in time for Christmas!!!! Don't worry, we will not go overboard with presents for them. First of all, that's not our style. (Somewhere along the line, J decided that you should only put 3 wishes on your Christmas list for Santa. I have chosen not to correct this notion.) Second, I think it would really overwhelm them to suddenly be inundated with more things. It will be hard enough for them to adjust to the regular everyday toys and such that we have for them, but I think to then give them a mountain of presents would totally freak them out.

So, now we have to get ourselves ready. I'm trying to kind of keep things in perspective, so I have been reminding myself that even if we get on the plane with just our paperwork, some money, and the clothes on our back, we could survive. Since I plan to pack a tad more than that, I think we'll be fine. This strategy doesn't always take away the paranoia and anxiety of not being prepared, but it can help at times.

We also learned that a few other families have the same court date, so we will probably be part of a small travel group there. That will be nice.

Can. Not. Wait. To. Go.

In through the nose (sniiiifffff) out through the mouth (whooooooo.) Repeating as often as necessary.

end of the week mumbles

We have an interesting family gathering planned for the weekend. It's going to be a sad good time.

We're heading to Tiffin, Ohio (Go Berg!!) to celebrate the lives of Aunt Dee and Grandma Herbert. Aunt Dee made her way to the other side a few years ago, but her ashes have yet to be buried. Grandma left us just a few weeks ago, and her ashes will be buried in the same cemetery as Aunt Dee's. So, we will have a somewhat melancholy afternoon.

After that, we are doing some delayed birthday celebrating: Brother-in-law turned 30 in September, M is now 40, and J just became 8. We also have some new family members -- one who is actually here already!

In addition to the many emotions of the day, my Buckeyes are playing Michigan State in the afternoon. Oy! I think I should just ignore the game. Why bring frustration into the emotional mix? (Jen K. don't call me if your spartans win. email is fine.)

Looking forward to some time strolling around Heidelberg on a beautiful fall day and stirring up some memories. (Did I really graduate 14 years ago?!?)

By the way, still waiting for a court date. I did contact our coordinator today to make sure she calls our cell phones and not our home phone -- something I generally recommend to anyone who truly wants to reach us. The home phone isn't connected to an answering machine, and it isn't always answered. It's our way of avoiding pollsters, fundraisers, robo-callers, etc. So, hopefully now I don't have to worry about missing that very important phone call.

Went Halloween shopping with J today. He has been saying for weeks that he wants to be a knight, but then he changed his mind and now doesn't know. We've got 2 more weeks, right? We did manage to buy some candy. Have you noticed how you practically need a home equity loan to buy Halloween candy? -- especially if you live in a large neighborhood with lots of kids. We ran out last year! Yikes! I do love Halloween, though. What other night do you get cute little kids dressed up like pumpkins followed by scary school-aged vampires? Oh, and you just gotta love the almost-teenagers who try to look cool by not really dressing up but still wanting to go around and get candy. Or, better yet, the grown-ups who claim they are getting some for their sick kid at home. Uh huh. I think they should still have to wear a costume.

:)
go buckeyes!
go tribe!
go berg! (hey, they've won at least 2 games this year.)

october 16, 1999

Starting around, oh, August or so, our son became impatient for his birthday to arrive. For at least 2 months we have been listening to Whiny Impatient Boy fuss about having to wait for his birthday. (It does not help that dad's b-day comes a week before his. Life is sooo unfair.) While he has been excited to turn 8 years old, it really has been about the present. Those who know J know that he is a Lego fanatic, and he would be perfectly fine with only ever receiving Legos for presents for the rest of his life. Ok, maybe childhood. We'll see.

This year the plan was to give him one present -- a large lego set. He pretty much knew that this is what he would get, but he didn't know which one. Would it be the Harry Potter 5 castle set? Mars Mission? AquaRaiders? Oh, the agony of having to wait!! We decided we would spread his birthday out a bit and do most of the celebrating over the weekend. Originally, the plan was to do things on Sunday, but decided it was in our own best interests to give him his present on Saturday. (HP castle, btw.)

On Sunday, after church, we headed to Polaris to meet up with our new pals Kevin and Stacie. We had the pleasure of meeting their incredibly adorable son, Micah. Micah is one of those yummy-cute babies -- you know the ones. They are just so dang cute, cuddly and sweet that you would skip dessert just so you can kiss their chubby cheeks and blow raspberries on their bellies. Yep, that's Micah. His mom and dad were nice enough to show us more pics of their trip to Ethiopia and tell us stories about our kids.

After a trip to Sugardaddy's and some lunch, we took J to Magic Mountain for a round of mini golf, and eventually we ended up at McDonald's (yuck!) for J's birthday dinner. Now, can you guess what J asked his pastry chef dad to make him for his birthday dessert?? Sugardaddy's brownies? Noooo. A birthday cake?? Negative. How about some cupcakes? An ice cream cake? A giant cookie?? No, no, and no. He requested Rice Krispy Treats. (M, of course, had to at least jazz up a batch by throwing some CoCo Puffs in there.)

So now my hubby is 40 and my sweet boy is 8. I think that makes me old, but I'm going to pretend otherwise.
:)

news you can use, if you wanna

A very cool discovery: The federal adoption tax credit is PER CHILD. Yeeeee Haawwwww!!!

(If you are unfamiliar with this, it is just under $11,000 and can be rolled over into the next tax year if you can't take it all in the current year. )

A "sweet" announcement: October 30th, Food Network, Throwdown with Bobby Flay, Sugardaddy's. Tune in to see how M's brownies did against the famous Mr. Flay. Then go online to www.sugardaddys.com and buy lots o' sweeties. Yum Yum!

Lack of news: Nothing to report on the adoption front. Still waiting for a court date. twiddle thumbs, tap foot, fidget, fidget, fidget.

October 9, 1967

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR HUBBA HUBBA HONEY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

(Imagine this being sung very loudly and very badly.)

The 30s have left the building! It is on to a new decade for the chef. (No, I will not bake him a birthday cake. Are you kidding??)

Happy 40th birthday my honey!

wowee wow wow wow!

MORE referrals have been announced! CHI announced that they had 4 more referrals today -- all girls -- including a set of twins! The twins are 9 months old, another baby is 6 months, and the other is 6 weeks! This is all just crazy exciting! This is in addition to the baby boy recently referred and the two girls referred a couple of weeks ago. I guess we're not alone waiting for a court date!

Now for a personal update:

I took the 2nd typhoid vacc a half an hour ago. So far, so good.

Also, I snagged a great resource today. I have two Ethiopian students, and I discovered that one of them works in a salon and does hair. Yippee! I asked her if she would teach me how to do our daughter's hair and how to take care of it. She told me to call her when we come home with her and to bring her into the salon. Many of you pale pasty people out there may wonder why this is such a big deal. I'll tell you why. African hair is different from Caucasian hair and needs different care and styling. Considering I suck at doing my own hair, the thought of trying to keep my daughter's hair pretty has me a bit stressed. I have been doing plenty of reading and researching, but nothing will prepare me like actually doing it and having someone help me. So, a big thanks goes to Feven and her Ethiopian hair care expertise. (Now I have another student I have to try to grade impartially!)

what's in our fridge

Just wanted to report that I took my first typhoid capsule yesterday. So far, so good -- no noticeable reaction. Next one on Friday.

On a funny note:

I opened the fridge this morning and noticed only one box of the typhoid vacc. We have two and they are supposed to stay refridgerated. I started moving things around searching for it and getting a little panicky. Finally, I found where M had moved it, and all was well. Then I started thinking about how funny it all was. "Omigosh! Where's our other box of Typhoid!!" To be worried about not having 2 boxes of TYPHOID in our fridge just cracked me up.

Geez. The things you go through with IA.

On a happy note:

Congrats to CHI family Paul and Deedra Mager! They just received a referral for a 2.5 month-old baby boy in Ethiopia. Yea!! Can't wait to see pics!

one in each arm!

Just got back and wanted to do my dutiful reporting of getting vaccinated for our trip.
(First, I want to say that our nurse at Life Care Alliance was awesome! Gotta like anyone who gives shots and is called "Painless Papp" -- Papp is her last name.)

Ok, so I got the meningitis vacc in my right arm and barely felt a thing. Yellow Fever went in the left arm, and it had a bit of a sting to it. Actually it stung quite a bit, but it seemed to take awhile for it to develop -- kind of like eating Mexican food.

Brought home the oral Typhoid vacc. and will take that over the next week. Considering what some of the side effects may be, I think I will keep my reaction to that one to myself.

Gotta find my "to do" list and mark this off. What a relief!

Shot day

Several months ago, M and I started working on getting our Hep A & B shots. We still have one round to go, but I'm wondering if we'll end up traveling before we get to take it.

Today, however, we're going for different shots: Yellow Fever, Typhoid and Meningitis. Having a low pain threshold (in other words, I'm a wimp) I'm not too excited about this. It's not that I'm afraid of shots. I'm afraid of pain.

I may actually get the pill version of the Typhoid vacc. It's good for 5 years compared to 2 for the shot, and there is a good chance that I will be traveling to Nicaragua within those 5 years. (We have friends and family who travel to places like Australia, England and Scotland; we go to Ethiopia and Nicaragua. Hmmm. . . )

One piece of advice for anyone needing to get travel vaccs: Shop around! Seriously. I checked out various county health departments and clinics and found that some have higher priced vaccs, some have admin fees, some only do certain vaccs and not others. We're going to Life Care Alliance here in Columbus -- low prices, no admin fees, and free consults before the shots.

Ok, wish us luck! If you hear this strange howling sound followed by painful crying, it might just be me on the west side of Cols. I'll let everyone know how it goes!