The Right to Food

I am so ashamed. . .

http://crooksandliars.com/cernig/right-food


Mr. Obama, please make this right.

a rant for my single friends

Being 2 days before Christmas, I had planned on writing a holiday post -- basically one that tells you how I've turned into a big scrooge over the years. (Can it all just be over???) But, I was just over on cnn.com and found an interesting article that made me change my focus. Maybe I'll rant about Christmas tomorrow or another day.

Anyway, this article was about surrogacy. And single men.

Let me say that I have nothing against surrogacy. Just another path to parenthood, and I'm all for doing what works for you to get there. I'm not even against single men using surrogates. Good for them! This particular article profiled a single gay man who used a surrogate twice to produce his two daughters. Fabulous!

So what is my issue? Here's my issue. I have single friends who cannot adopt (or have to endure more difficulties with adopting) simply because they are single. We have all these kids out there needing homes, and we have states, countries and agencies declaring that singles need not apply. (Some do it just to avoid the possibility of gays adopting.) So why don't these singles consider using a surrogate like our friend in the cnn article?

Because it costs around 100 freakin' thousand dollars!!

So, here's the deal: If you are rich and have a hundred freakin' thousand dollars for a surrogate, no one will stop you. No one will protest. No one will put an initiative on the ballot for your fellow citizens to decide your fate. (Ok, this one they might, but we're dealing with the almighty dollar here.) No one will say boo. Just do it. But if you are a single man or woman, gay or straight -- but especially a man and gay -- good lord, we just don't know if we should trust you with the task of raising a child who needs a parent. Let's not even acknowledge the fact that singles of both genders and sexuality prove their ability to raise their biological children everyday.

The stupidity of it all drives mad.

Ok, rant over.

ho ho ho.

swirlies

An interesting sort of situation.
What color do we call our kids?
Our oldest child is Latino. Latinos tend to be called brown, and he definitely has brown skin.
Our younger two children are African. In the U.S., those of African descent tend to be called black.
If you sit our three kids down together, they are very close in color with just a little variation in shade. Doesn't make a whole lot of sense to call one of them brown and the other two black.

And what about mom and dad?
Should we really be white? Snow is white. Paper is white. I'm a peachy-pink hue.

I had this conversation with an African-American co-worker/friend of mine. He's a very cool guy whose preference in women is Caucasian, so his former wives have fallen into this category, which makes his children biracial. As we talked about color, he told me that he has always called his kids "swirl kids" or "swirl babies." He said, "Yeah, I used to always say, 'come here you swirlies.'" We talked about the differences experienced by his kids growing up and his own life in the '60s, and how we really didn't like narrowing everyone down to two colors, black and white.

And isn't that really the problem? Trying to shove people into little boxes?
I am a lot of things. My children are a lot of things. Seems unfair to define us with just a word or two.

Talking about color can be hard. It can be really hard talking about it with someone who's shade is different from your own, but it can be done and it should be done. My hope is that by doing so we move away from black and white to shades of browns and peaches. Lofty goal, I'm sure.

try this again

comments?

A HA! Apparently it is only turning back on for new posts. Went back and turned on a few of the more recent ones. I will figure out blogging one of these days!

:)

comments ON! (UPDATED)

Update: Ok, maybe not. Not working for some reason. Let me see what I can do.

I have had a request to turn the comments back on.
Here ya go, CCK!
Comment away, ya'll.

:)

bite-sized mumbles

Tidbits for your enjoyment:

* E needs a haircut -- getting quite the mini 'fro going.

* S and J performed marvelously in the Christmas program this morning. (Ok, marvelously if you don't count S yawning in the middle of it.) Should we have raised a stink about our Hispanic son being cast as the only "servant"? Nah. It had more lines than the flock watchers and was way better than being in the chorus. :)

* Some women become "football widows" during football season. I, on the other hand, become a holiday widow during holiday season. But, hey, I guess I can't really complain this year -- he was actually home for my birthday! Yeah, it's been awhile. Gotta love having a December b-day.

* On the same note, M is working crazy hours making those fab brownies, truffles, biscotti and cheesecake. For all his effort, he gets to curl up to a bag of flour and sleep in a store room.

* I, on the other hand, get to snuggle into those to-die-for fleece sheets. Love me some fleece sheets! Seriously, makes you want to sleep naked if you don't already. (In case you are wondering, having a 2-year-old can hinder naked sleeping.)

* Two months and one day until Guatemala!! Very excited. Lots to do.

* Had a wonderful time in St. Louis for Thanksgiving. Made sure to have my Rigazzi's, Imo's and Drew's. The elixirs of life. Also spent time drooling over the new ballpark. It is beeyootiful!

* And, finally, make sure you get into the Christmas spirit by watching Ralphie as many times as you can. Not a finga!!

:)

choosing who you are

Ok, I'm just going to say this: The arguments against gay marriage drive me nuts. What a load of crapola. One of the components that often goes into the arguments is the idea of "choice." You know, people choose to be gay. Black people don't choose to be black, so we should be tolerant and not discriminate. For gays and lesbians, it's ok because they choose it. More crapola.

Well, here comes this wonderful article. Basically, it posits the question, so what if people could choose? By saying black people don't choose to be black, we are implying that they would rather be white. Yeah, maybe not so much. Science says that gays do not choose to be gay, but so what if they do? Do we all have to be straight white people, whether by choice or not?

Let's just all find a way to love who we are and let others be who they are. And those of us in the majority, how about we stop trying to take away rights from those in the minority. Ok?


http://ta-nehisicoates.theatlantic.com/archives/2008/12/what_if_it_is_a_lifestyle.php

"Implicit in that logic is a kind of judgment, the notion that if I could choose, I obviously would choose to be white. But what if I just like being black? What if I could choose and would still choose black? Ditto for homosexuality. So what if you do choose to be gay? I understand that a lot of the science says you don't, but why do we accept this implicit idea that heterosexuality is, necessarily, what everyone would chose?

I'm not trying to minimize the bias and trauma that must come from being out, but a basic extension of humanity, a belief that those who aren't like me actually are like me, says that to be gay has to be more than coping with living beneath the boot of the ignorant. It's always about more than getting your ass kicked, no? What if you actually love the "more than?" What if it is who you are and what you choose?"

officially official

For those of you not on Facebook and, therefore, didn't see this:

We are readopted!! Woohoo!
How cool are we?

this is beautiful

As a mom, I have seen the movie Shrek a million times. Great movie. It also has some great music. Here's one that is beautifully done. Take a moment to watch, listen, and enjoy.

Hallelujah.

Love it.

a year?!?

The plan was to do a post on Wednesday the 19th, our official Gotcha Day, but that obviously didn't happen since it is now Friday the 21st. I am apparently falling down on the mama job.

So what did we do on Wednesday? Well, we actually treated it like a normal day, and towards the end of it, we got in some serious giggle and marvel time. As we laughed and played in the family room with S and E, we often stared in amazement at how much they have both changed in the last year. The two children we held for the first time a year ago almost seem nothing like the two children we have now. While S maintains a lot of her "I can do it" independence, she also relishes having two parents to cling to. E is now her little brother to lord over instead of one she must care for. Instead of doing what she is sure is expected of her, she is taking chances, developing an opinion, and relaxing into her true personality. And speaking of personality, holy cow did one burst out of E! The little boy who once would not let me hold him is now a complete mama's boy who loves to sing. While he displays two-ness with great flair, he can also melt your heart with his beautiful smile and big loving eyes. He hangs back less and less and instead will jump right in with the big kids. He loves to smother his mama with kisses and impress her with long sentences that she can't understand.

And while all of this blows my mind from time to time, there is something else that wows me even more: How we have adjusted to this huge shift in family to something resembling normalcy. Even J, the one who seemed to be hit hardest by this change, has evolved into your typical big brother, and he is fantastic in this role.

For awhile after we came home from Ethiopia, I often counted time -- how long we had been home, and how long we had to go to get to a certain milestone. Strangely, our year anniversary sort of came up on me almost out of the blue. Hard to believe it has been a year, and it is also hard to believe it has only been a year. Weird, that.

Happy Gotcha Day, everybody!
:)

and so it begins. . .

A year ago today we landed in Ethiopia, and our lives changed forever. A year ago today we saw our new children for the first time -- granted, they were sleeping and didn't know we were even there, but we still saw them.

I cannot believe a year has passed.
We have been through so much, and our lives today look vastly different from that of a year ago.

So, bear with me as I take a trip down memory lane, a path that is cluttered with a multitude of emotions. Joy. Sadness. Fulfillment. Frustration. Worry. Amazement. Love. And so much more.

Everyday I live with the things I saw there. The beautiful people. The ugly poverty. The children. My children.

My children with new clothes, eating plenty of food, and getting ready to come to America, while others stay behind to beg in the streets and fight off illnesses that they may never see a doctor for or ever recover from.

My children coming to a place where they will be driven to school and have every opportunity for a good education. Others staying behind with only the possibility of school and having to walk for miles and miles for maybe a half a day's studies.

My children leaving behind their families, friends, country, culture, language because they may not survive otherwise. Others retaining all that is dear, but for how long?

Can a heart truly hold this much, especially when the emotions are so contrasting? How can it hold so much happiness while drowning in so much grief at the same time?

Tomorrow is Gotcha Day.

no more no!

Being 2 is hard. Being the mama to a 2-year-old is really hard.

It's really hard when your brother and sister are older than you, and you want to do everything they are doing, but you can't because you are only 2.

It's really hard when you are trying to do everything yourself, but doing everything yourself isn't so easy. For example, it is hard to wash your own hands when you can't turn on the water -- even when standing on a stool. In such a case, throwing a fit is still required no matter how much logic mom has on her side.

It's really hard when you want to be like a big kid, but you still want to cling to your mama. Separation sucks.

And. . .

It's really hard to be the mom when your 2-year-old has become the master of the word "no."

It does not seem to matter what I ask or how I ask it, the response is the same. Even if I then offer the exact opposite, he will answer in the negative. I think I am going crazy.

But, a couple of things keep me on this side of sanity. One, I know how hard 2 is and that 3 is often harder. Two, I know how quickly this age disappears, and before you know it they are back-talking school-agers.

And, hey, he's potty trained. Can I really complain? Sure, I can. I'll just try to keep it to a dull roar and only pull out hair I don't need. Like the gray ones.

:)

blog update

Finally added back in some links to my favorite places. I lost them when I changed layouts, and it has taken forever for me to get them back on. If I am missing yours or if you would like your blog added, please shoot me an email with the address and I'll be happy to add it. (Unless I don't like you. Just kidding! No, really. It's my blog. Ok. Just kidding. Sort of.)

You may notice that the list is comprised of more than just adoption blogs.

Also, I've taken comments off. People seem to prefer to either email or call me, so I turned it off. Feel free to email or whatever.

Happy Monday!
:)

my perspective

I think I am finally ready to write about what has happened. The kids are napping, I'm home on a Friday, and I now have the time to pour out my thoughts.

I knew how much having him win meant to me, but I hadn't really thought about the incredible impact it was going to have on so many others -- both in this country and around the world. When I see famous African American celebrities and political figures (on both sides of the aisle) weep at what has finally occurred, it hits home. When I look at my children and realize that they will never know what it is like to only have old white men as president, I want to weep myself. When I listen to NPR broadcast from a remote village in Kenya where all the people are sitting around one tv and listening to Barack Obama send a message to those in the far corners of the world, my heart wants to burst for them. I've been to one of those far African corners and know of the hope that they cling to. Obama has just given them more.

There are many haters in our country and the world. Many who openly admit to racism and who casually use the n-word. There was a time when they were in a clear majority. But no longer. Content of character now seems to finally rank above the color of one's skin. We went for many years just giving lip service to equality, but this past Tuesday we were given the opportunity to put our vote where our mouths are. For many, it is scary to take a chance, knowing that we would forever leave our old world behind for a brand new one. But we did it. Yes we did. And I know that this new world is really for my children, grandchildren and beyond and not as much for me. That's why it was so important to take them to the rally. They may not remember it, but they will be able to say they were there.

Now, let's say Barack Obama wasn't biracial. Let's say he didn't have brown skin or a funny name. Let's say he was like all presidents who have come before him. He would still be the one we need in this time, in this place. We need his leadership, we need his intelligence, we need his work ethic, we need his ability to inspire. The fact that he is not white and has ushered in a new era in American history is an added bonus. A big one. And we are fortunate enough to say it happened in our lifetime.

Hallelujah.

rosa, martin, barack, and our children

ROSA SAT SO MARTIN COULD WALK.

MARTIN WALKED SO BARACK COULD RUN.

BARACK RAN SO OUR CHILDREN CAN FLY.




What a wonderful country we live in.
I am so proud.

waiting waiting waiting

Not sure what to do with myself right now. Little boy has the oogies but seems to be on the mend, I work until 8:00 tonight, J doesn't have school today, and there won't be any news on the election until later. Oh, there are all kinds of things I could (and should) be doing, but who wants to do any of that stuff??

So, here for your viewing pleasure are some of the pics we took from the Obama rally in Columbus on Sunday. As you can imagine, our diverse family blended in marvelously!

Here's a pic of Barack:

Quite the crowd!

Look our for snipers!Awww! How cute is he??

J in the stroller??? S being a goofball?? Yeah, those are my kids.
Daddy and daughter. It's a beautiful day. Don't let it get away.
:)

check out Margaret and Helen!

h/t to Dr. Tag for one of my new favorite blogs.

http://margaretandhelen.wordpress.com/

Liberal old women who speak their minds -- role models for us all.

:)

how to deal with stolen yard signs

For some reason, only the Obama signs disappear in our neighborhood. Many have resorted to displaying them from inside their homes.

Here's another option.

Love it!

enjoying the show

A few weeks ago, I gathered with several friends to mark the passing of 15 years since graduating from Heidelberg College. Thinking that the kids wouldn't have a whole lot of fun, I left them home with dad and instead spent the day "alone" with my fellow Berg alum. While I had a great time and loved seeing the campus again (my, how it has changed!), there was one aspect to the trip that was a nice little surprise.

In attendance was a couple we hadn't seen for many years -- Chris and Jen. They came with their 4 kids -- older daughter and 3-year-old triplets. Oh My Goodness! You see, because of the nature of our family, we are fairly used to feeling on display sometimes. Whether it is people smiling with delight or scrunching their faces up in confusion, we get stared at. Even by those who know us. You get used to it and just ignore it. Well, except when conversations start -- that's a whole 'nother part of it all. So, on this day, it was a nice little treat to sit back and watch another family go through the spotlight routine. (Yes, I will admit that I was among those fascinated by their story, but I am proud to report that I kept far away from those pesky personal questions people like so much.) When people asked me if I had kids, I was able to say, "Yep, 3," and pretty much stop there. Didn't get into one adoption conversation.

Instead, I marveled as Jen told their story of (obviously) successful IVF and how the two implanted eggs turned into 3 kids -- yep, that's right, one of those eggs split into twins. She showed a picture of herself at almost full-term pregnancy. Oh my good lord in heaven, a human body is NOT meant to do that! Ok, I guess since it did, then it is meant to, but it sure did not look like it should. How she even stood up for this picture I will never know.

Although I do enjoy talking to others about our journey and our beautiful children, it really wasn't until that day that I realized how often we are in that position. I really don't mind -- especially when good comes from it. I guess I just hadn't realized how much work it can be until I was able to sit back and watch it. For totally different reasons, Chris and Jen go through it all the time, too. (I also realized that I think I prefer our reason over theirs. Zowee! I made sure to tell J all about it -- oh, he could have had it much worse!) I thank them for showing up with their whole family and taking the stage. It was nice to be in the audience for a the day. :)

Go Berg!!

one of these people is not like the others. . .

As I spend my days beholding my beautiful brown-skinned children, I often forget my own paleness. Sure, ya see it and ya know it, but it is very easy to become unaware of just how lacking in pigment you really are. Until. Until you look at those pics of you and the kids. Until you are standing with one of them and looking in a mirror. Until you have your big parent hand wrapped around or entwined with their little child one. Until you look at other children and think they look damn pasty white and could use a little color.

It's like your eyes become accustomed to what they see, and you forget that not all share the same characteristic. Even yourself.

Which makes me wonder.

Is it happening in reverse? Are my children looking at their parents' pale faces and internalizing that shade as their own? Do they get surprised sometimes when they look in the mirror, too? Or, is it different for them because there is more brown in the house than white?

I think I got my first clue about this when I was standing at the bathroom sink with S, and she declared that her nose was becoming white like mommy's. I'm not sure what she was seeing to make her think that -- maybe the light was making her nose a little brighter and, therefore, look a little lighter, but to my eyes her nose was still the same color.

J, on the other hand, seems to have always been aware of his brownness. Maybe because he was the only one for so long. I can't wait until we go to Guatemala, and I'm the one who sticks out while he blends in. (Should be quite humorous, actually, since I speak more Spanish than he does.)

So this is one of our challenges. Letting color lines blur while still maintaining identity. (Easy as pie, right?) On PBS, they have a kids' psa about color, and they talk about how it is everything and it is nothing. I think that boils down this complex topic to the absolute bare bones truth.

Color is everything and it is nothing.

Finally!

Got down to our Probate Court today and filed the necessary paperwork to readopt the kids. WooooHoooooo!!!!!!!

For those who haven't been crazy enough to go through this process, if your child enters the country on an IR-3 visa, you don't need to go through the readoption process, but most will still go through the hoops for changing a name and getting a birth certificate. If your child enters on an IR-4 visa (like most Ethiopian children do), then you must readopt in your state. County probate courts set the rules for doing this, and some are easy and some are a pain in the patooty. Even though it has taken me the better part of a year to get this done, I have discovered that our county is pretty easy. (It would be nice if they would put all of the forms online like they do for everything else that they handle, but that would just make sense.) Mainly, it has just been a pain to have to park downtown, get the papers, get them filled out, and then find the time to get back downtown during their hours to get them filed.

I finally did that today, and got a date for our hearing: December 5th. Wish us luck!

Oh, and I voted today.
:)

so many captions, so little time. . .

This pic makes me laugh every time I see it. OMG!
Can't imagine why the Grampy McSame campaign is tanking.

oh my goodness! I have a 9-year-old!!

This morning I watched my big boy walking off to catch the school bus on the corner, and I marvel at how he has grown. From a stocky baby to a tall lean third grader, he is proof of how fast time goes. He is 9 years old, smart, funny, and full of non-stoppable boy energy and boy humor. Fart joke, anyone? How many ways can we use different forms of "butt" in a sentence? Have an urgent question regarding caterpillars, turtles, or reptiles? J's your kid. How about a challenging game of soccer? And I dare you to try to build anything as cool as J can build with his Legos -- seriously. Of course, if you are needing a more serious discussion, say on the evolutions of Pokemon characters, like Turtwig, then call up our oldest child.

But while we celebrate the nine years of life we have enjoyed with our son, there is a woman in Guatemala who may be struggling with her loss. Every year on this date, I wake up and think of two things: My precious son and his first mom. As I give him his good-morning birthday hug and kiss, I wonder what she is doing, thinking and feeling. While we spend the day celebrating J's big day, I also spend the day thinking about her -- this woman that I have never met but who gave the greatest gift a person can give. I hold him tight, not just for me, but also for her, as if I can magically and telepathically send the warm embrace to her. As I kiss him all over his face and tell him how much I love him, I think of the love she is sending to him.

I could go on forever about my sweet, beautiful boy, but I'll keep some of it to myself.

feliz cumpleanos, mi hijo.

hypocritical much?

As life starts getting ugly. . .

There is this man.
Brownish skin.
Different name.
I've heard things about him: Not Christian, Middle-Eastern, pals around with "bad" people. Crowds of people love to gather to hear him speak, and that can't be a good thing.
Different crowds of people gather to stop him. To even call for his death.

I've also heard that he's got this thing about hope and peace and working together.


Who am I talking about and who am I talking to? I am talking about Jesus, and I am talking to those who pray to him without attempting to live like him.

Before you yell, "Off with his head!" and "Terrorist!" and incite a mob mentality that may lead to irreversible violence, maybe you should ask that famous question: What would Jesus do? Or better yet, What was done to Jesus and should I do the same to a fellow human being? To a fellow Christian? To a fellow American?

I'm sick of the hatred.

cellular elimination

Just need to vent a little here. . .

We've all heard of cell phone etiquette, right? Most of it is just basic common sense, and I think most people try to follow the social rules we have established. But, in addition to that, I think we have also stretched those rules a bit and have become more accepting of the way people use their phones. You know, no one really freaks anymore when someone's blackberry starts chiming in the library. Go ahead, talk it up.

But there is one practice I am having a really hard time with. Let me set the scene:

I am at work in a very nice professional building that houses not only the branch of the university I work for but also other businesses and firms. As I walk toward the restroom (ya know where I'm going with this now, right?), I am following a woman from one of those other offices. She is talking on her cell phone.

At first, I thought nothing of it. I don't know what I assumed -- she'd get off the phone? was just going to fix her hair? No. She walks right into a stall and closes the door. As I went into a stall myself, I just stood there in a moment of shock and disgust. Yes, the woman went on to take a pee while talking on her phone, flush the very loud public toilet, and then walk out to barely wash her hands.

Now, I know there is only so much privacy in a public potty, but come on!! Does pissing in the presence of complete strangers have to extend to those they are speaking with on the phone???

Am I just a prude? Out of touch with today's acceptable behavior? Where does Miss Manners stand on this? Sorry, it just makes me go ewwww.

it's mr. mumblerrr's birthday!!

Stick a sombrero on his head, clap loudly, and sing a made-up version of "Happy Birthday" while a bunch of strangers sit in relief that it is not them.

No, we will not do this to him. Probably not.

M had a milestone birthday last year, so we'll call this one a milestone plus one year and two kids more. (Last year we knew about them but didn't have them yet.)

As he continues in his role of fabulous husband, extraordinary dad, and amazing chef for Sugardaddy's, let's share the top ten fun facts about our birthday boy that you may or may not know. Ready? Here we go!

10. He once served lunch to Alan Alda.
09. His college nickname was Harpo.
08. He beat Bobby Flay in a throwdown.
07. His nose is slightly crooked. (Can't remember if that is the fault of a brother or lacrosse.)
06. His math skills are wicked in the kitchen.
07. He makes beautiful wedding cakes but don't ask him to unless you are related to him.
06. He is a liberal and not afraid to share that.
05. He is a fan of Jane Austin literature.
04. He knows the Harry Potter series inside and out.
03. He loves the St. Louis Cardinals, Kentucky basketball, and has become quite the Buckeye. :)
02. He often survives on very little sleep.
01. His is greatly loved and loves greatly.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY HONEY!!
Olive Juice! I love you forever and ever, amen.
:)

merry christmas

You know it's Christmas time right? Really. It is. Yes, I know that you haven't picked out your Halloween costume or even bought the candy you plan to pass out. Oh, I am aware that you haven't had your turkey, cranberries and pumpkin pie. So what? Just go walk through your neighborhood big box and see for yourself.

Apparently our economy is so tanked that they can't even wait a few more weeks until we are at least almost done with Halloween like they normally do. No, instead you have to go down one aisle with witches, skeletons, and jack-o-lanterns, and then turn the corner to see santa, sleigh bells, and fake snow. Oh, this helps me remember the reason for the season, as they say. Let me tell you, trying to explain these upcoming holidays to S is hard enough without having them blasted to us all at once. She's already confusing them.

And along these lines can someone explain to me why it is so wrong to wish another person Happy Holidays?? I mean, gee whiz, we've got at least 3 major ones going on at the same time, and that's not even including other religions and minor federal holidays. Whatshisname on the radio declares every year that there is a war on Christmas. Maybe he needs to thank his president's failed economic policies for that. Just a thought.

So, if you are one of those super multi-tasking type of people who needs to do as much as possible in order to feel productive (and I will admit to this occasionally), then this holiday season is for you! Before you know it, we'll celebrate the new year in November!

Happy Hallothanksmas.

early early early!

Those of us in Ohio have this wonderful thing called "early voting." If you live in Ohio, take advantage of it!!

It is so cool. Now through Oct 6, people can actually register and vote the SAME DAY. After that, they still have early voting available for those who are already registered. In Columbus, we can go downtown to Vets Memorial during the week OR EVEN ON SATURDAYS AND SUNDAYS until election day and VOTE! How fabulous is that?? Oh, we also have the option to vote by mail.

Now, I know that Ohio has screwed up a lot in the past (thank you Ken Blackwell), and they may continue their ways this year, but this is one change I am so thrilled about.

I am sure I don't have to tell all of you patriotic Americans to make sure you are registered by your state's deadline, and then you actually need to go and vote, but just in case, check out these pretty people convincing young people to do that:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olpCyDA4kYA

Or, if you have already registered, and you no longer fall into the 18 to 25 category, just enjoy watching the pretty people.

Oh, and in case you are undecided, I'll give you my "mom in middle America" opinion: OBAMA.

OBAMAOBAMAOBAMAOBAMAOBAMAOBAMAOBAMAOBAMAOBAMAOBAMAOBAMA

:)

when it's time to change. . .

I've been thinking that it is time to make some changes to Mumblerrr! Now seems like a good time. New season, new month. But I thought I should give you some warning as to what is coming.

First, cosmetics. I'm in search of a new layout and learning how to change it. I am no techie -- usually fumbling my way through something until I figure it out. So, one day, you will just be surprised. (The best kind of prize is a Surprise!)

Second, content. While I will still occasionally share kid stories (like E singing a U2 song right now. Gotta raise 'em right!) I am going to shift the focus from inside our home to the greater world. I want to look at what is happening out there right now and give our perspective on it. The view from our multicultural/multinational/multiracial home might be somewhat different from others. Or, it might be very much the same. Good to do a little comparison/contrast, don't ya think?

So, in addition to adoption stuff and family stuff, there is going to be more social commentary. I'm going to leave it nice and broad -- hey, it's my blog. I can write about whatever I want, right? I am hoping it will spur me to write more often and more passionately.

Stay tuned!

it's monday

Can this week be normal? Please? Boring, even?

Last week's double punch of hurricane (Ike) and hernia (M's) made for quite the abnormal week. Since when does Ohio have hurricanes?? We lost power, some shingles, and the tarp off of our gazebo. Then, had to get up the next day and take my hubby for surgery. Yep. Looking for a boring stretch of days here.

And. . .

Big shout out to the mostest wonderfullest Auntie Jill!! My superdeeduper seester-in-law drove through hurricane winds to be at our house and help out with the kids and the cooking while I spent the day at the hospital with M and his "hyena" -- yes, it has a pet name. Jill actually took my 3 kids and her baby daughter out to the grocery store and to lunch BY HERSELF! I'm still impressed by that. A huge debt of gratitude is now waiting for her to cash in. :)

And. . .

Big hugs to Aunt Jen. Her 88-year-old grandfather passed away recently. Sounds like he had a fabulous life surrounded by love and will be missed by many, many people.


Hope everyone has a boring, uneventful week.
:)

oh my lord, this did NOT happen to me!!

As a pinky-peach mom to beautiful brown children, I have become accustomed to intrusive, nosy, none-ya-bidness questions from all kinds of people. I am not a newbie at this. We have been a transracial family for 8 years now with J, and we became even more multicultural with the addition of S and E last November. Sometimes I handle the personal inquiries well and sometimes not so much. However, today I had an encounter that goes above and beyond anything I have EVER experienced. And not only did this all come from ONE person, but that person was a complete and total stranger!

So here's the deal. I take S and E to the library and then head over to my least favorite big box store to pick up a couple of things -- S is completely out of leave-in conditioner (eek!) and I needed some more hair goo myself. Normally, I head down the road to a different big box store that I find more preferable, but they didn't have my goo the other night, so I had to go to the icky store.

I am in the hair care aisle with S and E sitting in the cart. A woman rounds the corner, looks at the kids and has a very curious look on her face. It was kind of like she had tasted something bad but she couldn't quite decide what it was that she had tasted or why it tasted bad. I just stared at her. Her expression softened and she smiled at the kids and struck up a conversation with me. Oh, keep in mind that this is an African American woman. Here is what she threw at me:

Are these your kids?
Oh, I could tell you didn't give birth to them, but I wasn't sure if they were yours.
Why did you go there and not get kids here? There are so many here that need help.
She's so pretty! When she gets a little older you can give her a perm. (This is said as she is TOUCHING my daughter's hair. Explains that giving her a perm will make it look like hers -- straight.)
Why didn't you have any of your own? Did you have trouble getting pregnant?
So why didn't you adopt from here?
Are you Christian?
Are they brother and sister?
Where are their parents?
Why didn't you adopt from here?

I managed to turn it around on her after she mentioned having one son and 2 grandchildren and got the conversation away from my kids and our situation. She talked about how hard it is to raise kids these days -- and it doesn't matter if you are black or white. She has white friends! (I thought, omg! They use that too!) And then she blurts out, "I wish I had adopted him because then I could give him away!"

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Talk about shock and awe! Why didn't we send this woman to Iraq? I was dumbfounded. I did manage to say, "That's a personal question," and "Have YOU adopted domestically?" (Yes, she was really hung up on that one.) She seemed to think that because she was a nurse that this was a good enough reason to interrogate me in front of the shampoo and hair gel. Wow.

This woman -- again, a complete stranger -- fired every nosy question and assumption at me that they tell you about in the transracial adoption education they make you complete. I think she assaulted me with more in one shot than I have experienced in the last 8 years. AND SHE DID IT IN FRONT OF THE KIDS!!!!!!

I will tell you that I didn't do nearly as well as I should have. In fact, I feel like I totally blew it. I have always tried to prepare myself for those occasional invasions of privacy, but never in my wildest dreams did I expect to meet Nurse Nosy while shopping for my hair goo. Oh. My. Dear. God.

So, for those of you who have been home a short time or perhaps are still waiting for your beautiful children, learn from my amazing experience. Yeah, ready yourself for those occasional rude, personal questions, but don't forget that ALL of it may happen in one shot with one complete stranger, and it will figuratively and totally knock you on your ass.

Wow.

Goin' to Guat

It's official -- plane tickets have been bought, contacts have been made, research has been done. I'm taking J to Guatemala!

Soon after S and E came home, it became clear that J needed to make a connection with his birth country. Rather than take our whole family of 5 down for the adventure, we decided that it would just be the two of us on a short jaunt. I'm calling it a "starter" trip -- 4 days. I want to give him a taste of Guatemala, give myself a better understanding of traveling there, and get ideas for the future. Also, it is hard to say how he is going to handle this emotionally, and I really don't want to be stuck there for a week if he has a hard time. Not to mention, I'm leaving dad at home with the other two kiddos!

So, we will fly from here to Atlanta to Guatemala City. We will then be picked up and taken to Antigua where we will spend most of our time. Might take a day trip to some place like Chichicastenengo, but I think we will make those decisions on the fly. There's a lot more I would love to do, but they are not for this trip. Not only will this trip be short, but I also want it to be slow -- give him time to drink it in. Hopefully, it will all go so well that we will plan a longer family trip for the future. Yeehaw!!

Very excited and lots to do! Only 4 months to go! woooohooooo!!
hasta luego!
:)

should YOU adopt a child?

As an adoptive parent, I often run across people who say something like, "I've always wanted to adopt." Or, "I've thought about doing that." Or, "Do you mind if I ask you questions about that? It's something I'm interested in doing myself."

And then there are those who have never considered it.

First of all, let me say that a very wide variety of people adopt. Young couples with no kids. Older parents with empty nests. Families with homegrown kids who want more children. Singles. Gay and lesbian couples -- if their states allow it. So no matter your situation, there have probably been others in the same situation who have gone before you.

So answer these questions:

1. Do you want to expand your family? Why?
2. Do you WANT a child or another child? Why?
3. Are you ready and able to learn about a whole new world and deal with the issues that come with it?
4. How do you feel about adoption? How does your extended family feel about it? Are you ready to handle criticism that could come?
5. How hung up are you on dna and "having a child of your own" to pass down your fabulous, flawless genes?
6. Does this apply to you?: "I just don't think I could love a child that isn't my own."
7. How do you feel about having a child that obviously doesn't look like you?
8. If you can't get pregnant, have you taken the time to grieve that and get past it? Are you willing and able to let it go? Will you see adoption as second-best?

If you think adoption is right for you, the next thing you need to do is research. Adoption is often compared to a roller coaster -- and for good reason. It has more ups and downs than the Beast, and it can throw you for a loop faster than Top Speed Dragster. Look at both domestic and international options and decide which fits you best. We were able to decide pretty quickly that we could handle the rigors of international, so that is the path we have pursued. But there are still choices to make after choosing between the domestic or international routes -- countries, states, agencies, etc., etc. There are a TON of websites and blogs to plow through for some self-study, not to mention lots of Yahoo groups and forums. Get out there and ask questions. Educate yourself.

And one last thing. If you are thinking about adopting so that you can "save" a child, don't. A child does not need to grow up feeling like a charity case to be pitied. He or she needs to grow up as a full-fledged son or daughter -- not your church project, not to help you look good in the eyes of God, not to convert them, and not solely to get them out of an impoverished situation. As I have said before, no one has the right to call my children "lucky." They have lost birth families, cultures, languages, countries, and personal histories. If I had lost all of that, I don't know that I would consider myself fortunate. Only they can decide if what they have gained outweighs what they have lost and declare themselves lucky or not. So, if saving a child is your motivation for adoption, please think again.

Ok, one more last thing. I'm sure this doesn't need to be said, but I will anyway. If you are, indeed, one of those people with a "pass down my genes" complex, then no, adoption is not for you. Just in case you were still wondering. ha.

Obviously I am a big advocate of building families through adoption and finding homes for children. However, that doesn't mean that I want everyone to do it. Quite honestly, some people would suck at it. But, for anyone out there that has been feeling that nudge, consider this permission to explore it -- there are kids out there who would love to call you mom and dad.

time

Spring/Summer 2005: Decided it was time to expand family and adopt again. But from where? Our agency no longer had a Guatemala program. We considered Colombia, but our wait would be almost 2 years and our ages would qualify us for a toddler. We're we ready for that? (Yeah, all that makes me laugh now.) China's wait was 6 months, and more than likely we would receive an infant girl. We decided to go with China. Sent in our application to our agency in August 05.

Fall 2005: Learned that the wait time in China was getting longer.

February 9, 2006: Our official Log In Date (LID) with China. By this time the wait had stretched out to a year.

Summer 2006: The China program continues to slow down. All kinds of reasons are given, and everyone continues to have hope of a speed up. Surely once this or that happens everything will return to normal, right?

Christmas 2006: Still no baby.

February 2007: Feeling hopeful. Logged in for a year. Surely, it couldn't be much longer? Surely we would see our child in 07, wouldn't we?

April 2007: Hope has all but evaporated. China has a massive slow down. We need to redo our immigration paperwork before it expires. Our agency becomes licensed in Ethiopia. Decision time. After careful consideration of a number of factors -- not just wait time -- we decide we need to switch programs.

Our agency is very careful and makes sure we understand all the implications. I still remember one employee telling me, "You know you will get your China referral before you would get one from Ethiopia, right?" I was very good and didn't laugh in her face, but it was a close one.

July 2007: Sent in our completed dossier for Ethiopia to our agency requesting 1 to 2 children of either gender, 0-36 months old.

August 2007: Agency sends dossier to Ethiopia.

September 10, 2007: Receive referral for 3 yo girl and 14 mo boy.

November 2007: Travel to Ethiopia to bring home our children.

Fast forward

September 2008: Rumor has it that LID 2/9/06 is the cut-off date for the next batch of referrals from China. One whole year later we would have received our referral for a Chinese baby. One whole year. Over 3 years from the time we originally started the whole damn process. I can't imagine what kind of mental case I would have been by now. And, while it would have been wonderful to receive a referral for a beautiful, sweet Chinese baby girl, I cannot even imagine not having S and E. I cannot make my mind fathom their lives growing up in Ethiopia. I cannot imagine having only 2 children instead of 3. And going through infancy again? Btdt.

International adoption is not easy. It requires the ability to roll with the changes and to make hard decisions. Faith and courage are necessities. I thank God everyday for my 3 children and the mysterious ways in which they came to us. I have no doubt that they are meant to be ours and we are meant to be theirs.

So now I can say:
Hallelujah! to all those February 06 families who are about to FINALLY receive news about their children in China. It has been a long hard road that will soon end with a long flight. Blessings to all of you! And blessings to all of those children who are about to have families. It's all good.
:)

potty like it's 1999

pee pee on the potty!
pee pee on the potty!
pee pee pee p-pee pee pee!

Everybody sing!

Doesn't every house have a peeing on the potty song?

So, we've been doing the whole pull-up thing with E for several months now. He has no fear of the potty, knows exactly what it is for, and is willing to use it for that purpose. #1? No problem! #2? No problem! Telling us when? Problem.

We had many successful days of dry pull-ups and even dry diapers in the morning. We also had many soakin' wet days. People often say that pull-ups are bad for the potty training process because it still functions like a diaper for the child and, therefore, they have no incentive for using the potty. No warm stream running down their legs or puddling in their little pants. Ew. Yeah, yeah, makes sense. But you know the other problem? Parents. It is soooo easy not to worry about getting your child on the potty in regular intervals because, hey, he's got super-dee-duper absorbant space-age tissue next to his tushie keeping it dry.

So this weekend we went out and bought a couple of packs of toddler underwear -- Cars underwear. No Scooby Doo in his size. No better motivator for the parents then having to clean up little boy pee. Sunday was day 1. We had 2 accidents. Monday we had 2 accidents. One of them he was nice enough to dribble from the living room window all the way into the kitchen.

J has joined the effort by making E a sticker chart and giving him stickers to put on for every successful potty trip. What a cool big brother!

Right now, at this moment, E is filling himself up with "purple wah" -- greatly diluted grape juice. Now he wants to sit on me. Lucky me.

I just love potty training.

my 4-year-old

Although we celebrated on Sunday, today our little girl officially turns 4. It blows my mind to think of how much has changed for her in the last year.

Happy Birthday, Sweetie!

Surprise!! Yeah, not so much. This was a staged pic. :)

At 4, she has her cupcake and she will eat it too.

Here, mom reads a homemade card written by the big brother. (Refer to previous post to know why this is a big deal.)

Hmmm. . . I guess things have changed a bit for us in the last year, too. Very cool.

:)

who'd a thunk it?

Many of you know that J went through lots of struggles when his little sister and brother came home last November. While having them was something he very much wanted, it also turned his world upside down. No more Legos in the family room. No more Harry Potter movies before their bedtime. No more mom and dad all to himself. Yeah, there were many tears, arguments, and tantrums from all of us. I will be honest and say that I had my moments of wondering what the heck we had done. Had we ruined his life? Why did we have to go and upset the balance of our family? I always had to stop and rewind back to our reasons for expanding our crew. I had to remind myself that we didn't do this for the short term but for the long term. We knew that the beginning would be rough -- had no idea how rough. (I think it might be kind of like childbirth -- if you truly knew how bad it could be, you might not do it.)

Each week, each month we looked for little signs of progress. J seemed to love his little brother, but he tried too hard and was often rejected. He seemed to simply find S annoying, and he did everything to make everyone's life miserable. J blamed the two of them for everything under the sun. For example: "I wouldn't have spilled my water if she hadn't been looking at me!" Yes, this is a true tale. I was at my wit's end with him when I started noticing that the amount of peaceful time seemed to be increasing. Fewer hateful words words were being used. And something truly bizarre started to happen: They started playing together. Yeah, can you believe it? Sure, it was loud and messy, and sometimes someone got hurt, but they. were. playing. together. Eeeeekkkk!!!

Everything happened a little at a time. We were eventually able to go from having animated arguments to discussions -- albeit stubborn ones at times. J started showing true affection toward E and even occasional moments with S. Usually, though, he was calling her Big Head. (Big Hair would probably be more appropriate, but hey. . .) Part of the problem was that J considered himself separate from them. He was one and THEY were one. This summer, we have seen a shift in this mindset. Perhaps he has seen that they do fight with each other. S tattles on E all the time. For whatever reason, he seems to finally be seeing that they are two separate kids, and maybe they are not the inseparable unit that they came in as.

J attended a sports camp at the Y this summer. Every morning, I would get all 3 kids up, dressed and ready to go by 8:30. We would take him in and he would want hugs goodbye from me and both kids. Well, his hug for S was more like an NBA chest bump -- he would kind of grab her to him and bump into her and then let her go. By the end of the summer, it had turned into a real hug with an occasional kiss thrown in. At bedtime, it is hugs and kisses all around. By my reaction you would think it was an everyday thing, but inside I am screaming with delight! Yeeeeeeee!!!!!!

Oh, but that's not all my cyber friends. We have noticed an obvious shift in S's behavior. She used to copy little brother -- act like a baby. Now? Uh, not so much. Now she is a big girl who is trying to emulate her big brother in everything. How many times has she said something that has been straight out of J's mouth?? Does she really like Pokemon?? And how many more times is she going to rub it into E that she can do things he can't? Oh, we have moved into a totally new dynamic.

For months, J couldn't stand his sister. This past weekend, he had fun buying her a birthday present, making her a card, and planning her party. His words sum it all up:

"I never knew this would be so much fun!"

Yeah, me neither my sweet boy. Me neither. :)

NONE-YA!

This is how I would like to respond to some people. None. Of. Your. Business. We are still getting that question that drives me crazy:

"So were they brother and sister? I mean, before you adopted them?"

NONE-YA!

Ok, I know I can be harsh at times, but I can't bring myself to give a mean, smart-ass response to these nice, well-meaning, nosey people. So, what I usually end up saying is something like this:

"Yes, but all 3 of my kids are brother and sister because they have the same parents now. Biology isn't important in our house."

This is my attempt to answer their question but to also let them know they are asking an inappropriate question. I mean, am I wrong here? Is there really any reason why someone I barely know (and often have just met) needs to know if my 2 youngest children are biologically related??

Makes me want to turn the tables on people. Something like, "Oh, do both of your biological children have the same father?" or "So were you able to get pregnant naturally or did you have to use fertility drugs?" I mean, can you imagine asking a single mom if both of her kids had the same dad? Or asking a preggers woman if she had a little help from Clomid?

So what about people who adopt 2 unrelated children at the same time. There are some agencies out there who will let families adopt 2 unrelated children from Ethiopia at the same time. There are various theories on whether this is a good idea or not, but I won't get into that now. I'm sure these people get the same none-ya-business question, and I am very curious about how they handle it. Also curious about how the nosey people respond when/if the AP says, no, they are not biological siblings. You see, I always get something like, "Oh, it is so nice that you could keep them together!" So, what does one say when the kids are not related? Gee, that's too bad? Oh, that must be hard? Or, do they manage to find something positive to say?

The lesson I have learned (and hope to pass on) is to think before you ask. It is hard to know what might be private info and what isn't. But it shouldn't be too hard to figure out what kind of info isn't really necessary for me to know. (That whole need-know-basis thing.) And I think a person's dna would fall into that category.

Ok. Done venting. Thanks for reading.
:)

bite-sized mumbles

* The other day M called S "smartypants." S became quite upset with dad regarding this name-calling and asked him to please not call her "sweatypants" anymore. So, of course, we now call her sweatypants all the time.

* E has a new learning strategy. When he wants to know what something is, he points to it and says, "Name?" I love it. I've never seen a kid do it like this before. Usually kids say, "What dat?" But E apparently has figured out that everything has a "name" and, therefore, he is going to use the proper terminology. What a smartypants. :)

* J is actually ready to go back to school. I can't believe it. 2.5 weeks to go. Let's hope 3rd grade lives up to expectations.

* Those who know me know that I rarely shop for our clothes in a regular store. I prefer second-hand. Not only is it better for the environment, but it is waaaaayyyyy cheaper and I don't give a rat's ass if something gets ruined. So, last week I went to my favorite local thrifty-type store to shop for back-to-school clothes for J and work clothes for me. I bought 22 separate items -- a ton of shirts for him and a ton of pants for me. $32.87. Yes, I am the queen and my husband loves me for it.

* Took the kids to Toys R Us yesterday just for fun. S and E had never been there. We walked in, and they had to stop at practically each game or toy and inspect it. M sooned realized that it was going to take us forever to make it through the store. Somehow, we not only made it out of the store, but we did it without buying anything or anyone having any tantrums because of it. I'm not sure if that makes us good parents or bad parents. (Hmmm. . . take kids to a toy store and not buy them anything . . . ok, maybe it just makes us crazy stupid.)

* S's birthday is coming up, and she can't wait. E, of course, is ready to have another one. What is funny is that they don't yet get the concept of having one per year. Understanding time is hard enough (if not impossible) and the idea that you only have one birthday but you get to have it again someday just doesn't compute. J told S that he has had 8 birthdays and she didn't believe him.

* Did you know that all 3 of our kids are copycats? Make. It. Stop. !!! (Actually, it is kind of funny when E does it because he's only 2.)

* And one political bit: How cool is my dad?? My dad is a 79-year-old caucasian man who grew up in a coal-mining town in Kentucky. He is a Korean War veteran who served on the USS Missouri, and he has spent most of his adult life in a small, conservative, Republican town in western Ohio -- my hometown. He has been known to have his prejudices, but he has come a long way in changing. He has also been known to not like George W. Bush. So, I just had to ask him: Dad, who are you voting for? He looked at me like it was obvious and said, "Barack!"
Yea, Dad!! If he can see it, then I have hope for others as well.

* Ok, two political bits: Can someone please make Grampy McSame stop talking?? His voice sounds like it should belong to some evil hypnotist in a bad B movie, "my friends". Oh, and the smile has to go. Just reinforces the evil hypnotist notion. Besides, if something obviously isn't a natural, comfortable thing for you to do, then just don't do it. blehhhhh.

Stepping down off my box now.
:)

the big screen and the big pool

Way back when we were in line with China and waiting for an infant girl, I always perused our agency's waiting child list. These were children of various ages and with various health conditions. Some were perfectly healthy but because of age were considered hard to place. Others had conditions that were fairly easy to treat, like cleft lip/palate, club foot, skin conditions, etc. It was during this time that I started to realize that our next child didn't have to be an infant. Maybe a toddler? Maybe a preschooler? Maybe older? In many ways I was somewhat scared of the idea, but I also couldn't seem to stop myself from falling in love with these beautiful children. How amazing for these kiddos to touch so many lives -- I know that I wasn't the only one falling for them -- and they will probably never know the impact they had.

At one point, I finally put the question out there to those in the virtual adoption society. What's it like to adopt an older child? I got lots of great feedback, but the one that really stuck with me was one with a wonderful message of "firsts." The writer told me not to fret over lost firsts -- that there would be plenty more to marvel over. Now that we have been home for 8 months with our now 2-year-old and soon-to-be-4-year-old, I have found how true that advice was.

Take this past week.

M took J and S to see the new Pixar movie in the theater. It was S's first time going to the movies. When she came home, you should have seen her face! It was like she had just experienced the most amazing thing in the world.

"Mommy! We watched a really big movie, and it was really loud!" As she described it all, her eyes and her smile could not contain her excitement. It became obvious that she really didn't understand the movie, but that didn't seem to matter. How cool was this??

But the new adventures didn't end there. On Saturday, we finally took the kids to the pool. Yeah, I'm very aware that we are more than half way through summer, but we do have valid reasons for waiting so long. One would be my new job. Makes trips to the pool only possible on the weekends. Strangely, our weekends this summer have been booked with one thing or another, so leisurely days at the pool haven't happened. The other big factor is that it really takes both parents to take all 3 kids to the pool -- with S and E not swimming yet, just wouldn't be safe otherwise.

So, we go to the pool. At most, the kids have seen one on tv. We didn't stay at a hotel in Ethiopia, and haven't been to one or seen one since coming home. Had no idea how they might react. Would they be fish or chickens? Um, yeah, total fish. It was their first time in a swimming pool, and S kept trying to "swim" away from Dad. Both wanted to jump in over and over, and they even went underwater. Have to say, I was shocked. Guess we don't have to worry about having scaredy-cat kids at swim lessons, now do we? Zowee!! (Oh, and I should probably mention that we didn't have any noodles or other floaty devices.)

I know there will be more firsts to come. A ton more. If they are anything like the movies and the pool, then life should be a blast. How lucky am I?
:)

pics!!

Nothing really to say. Just wanted to share some photos of our summer so far. Someday I will take the time to learn to post a slideshow. Enjoy!

so much to tell, so little time. . .

Where to begin?? How about on Thursday. . .

After working until 6:00 that evening, I came home to a wonderful dinner and packed bags. No, I wasn't being tossed to the curb. We were heading out of town! By 8:00, Moby (the great white minivan/whale) was gassed up, we had our Tim Horton's cafe mochas, and the dvd player was fired up for some mind-numbing entertainment. E was out by 8:35.

About 7 (ish) hours later, we arrived in St. Louis for our long weekend. We tip-toed into my FIL's house and found our place to crash. After telling the kids to sleep in, they woke the next morning around 7:30. Great. We decided to take the morning slow and work our way to nap time and a more human feeling. I can't speak for anyone else, but I had a fabulous snooze on the couch.

Finally, in the afternoon, we decided it was time to take the kids on an adventure. But where? There are so many cool things to do with kids in St. Louis -- the zoo, the Magic House, City Museum, Grant's Farm, the Science Center, the Butterfly House. Well, how about Grant's Farm? It's FREE, we get to see animals, and we can ride on a train through the oppressive St. Louis-in-July weather. Wonderful idea! Except we got there five minutes after they closed the parking lot. Damn. Ok. Off to the zoo.

Now I have to admit that I'm not much of a zoo person. I always end up going when it is about 95 degrees and all the animals have chosen to hide somewhere and sleep. There's also the whole thing about wild animals being kept in contrived environments, but we won't get into all that. So, off to the zoo. Parked for FREE. Entered for FREE. Paid $9.00 for a double stroller and $4.50 for a big bag of popcorn and some animal crackers. (Love that!) After seeing some impressive reptiles, stinky monkeys, a very adorable baby giraffe, and absent big cats, I was melting into the pavement. Then my smart hubby decided it was time to visit the penguins and puffins. AAAAHHHH! It was so wonderfully cold in there! And, oh, were those penguins and puffins cute! (Don't tell J I used that word.)

We finally decided it was time to hit the road, and M was kind enough to retrieve Moby and pick us up in front of the zoo. As we were heading back to my FIL's house, we called Imo's and ordered a couple of pizzas for dinner. We were almost to Webster Groves when I asked, "Where's the diaper bag?" "I gave it to you." "You did? I don't have it." Uh oh. Back to the zoo. It was sitting right where M had left it with me.

Back at home, we devoured our Imo's and prepped for our next to-do: Celebrating E's 2nd birthday!! He actually turned 2 on Sunday, but since we would be driving in the car, we decided to celebrate it on Friday night. With the help of Elmo party supplies, some balloons blown up by J, and cake and ice cream provided by Papi, we officially ushered in the terribly terrific twos. An age we will call the "Me Do" age because E insists on doing everything himself. I can't believe I have a 2-year-old again. I better enjoy it while I can.

Saturday brought more adventures: The Children's Hope Reunion Picnic! We met up with some of our favorite CHI Ethiopian families and enjoyed some good times. Honestly, though, I have to admit that one of the best parts for me was seeing the wonderful woman who coordinated our adoption of J and having him meet her. Another highlight was viewing a photo album from Ethiopia that had several pics of S and E. Seeing them in their first orphanage made me want to cry. Fortunately, not everything was emotional -- lots of kids from around the world playing and parents comparing notes was a joy to be a part of. It was really cool to finally meet so many people that up until then had only been virtual. (Wow! You all are real!!)

After some nap time at home, the Ethiopian families headed to one of my favorite places in St. Louis: Rigazzi's. After some salad, t-ravs, and baked ravioli, I was a happy mama. But I was about to become happier: Ted Drewes!! Yummy concretes. (After all this goodness, I had to sit in the back of Moby with J and his aching belly -- he had eaten waaaay too much. Can't blame him. Easy to do there.)

After getting the kids in bed, M and I worked on packing up. After driving over at night with the kids mostly asleep, I was wary of what Sunday would bring. Driving 7 to 8 hours with the kids during the day?? Are we nuts?? Yep. And guess what? They were marvelous! I am still amazed at how well we all did. Good thing -- we're going back later this year and have to make the drive again. Woo Hoo!

Aunt Jen ROCKS!!!!

Ya know, we have a lot of wonderful people in our life. Some really nice, cool, wonderful people. Then we have our Aunt Jen. If your kids do not have an Aunt Jen, then I highly recommend you go find one.

Technically, "Aunt" Jen isn't an aunt, but she has more than earned that title with all of the special attention she slathers on the kids. She and J have a very close relationship, and she's beginning to develop bonds with the little ones, too. I think after this weekend she has climbed a bit higher on the S and E scale of good people to know. Why? Two words:

King's Island. (A very fab amusement park north of Cincy.)

Through her work, Jen provided our entire family with free tickets, a parking pass, and drink wristbands. (The coolest thing: wear a wristband, walk up to a snack bar, ask for a coke/sprite/root beer, walk away with it for FREE.) Unbelievable. Added bonus: being able to hold the trip over J for good behavior. S and E, of course, had no clue what King's Island was, and we really had no context for them. (S pointed to the elaborate playground at the McDonald's close to the park and thought that it was King's Island. Uh, no sweetie, just you wait.)

Overall, the kids did great. One of my favorite moments came while standing in line with S for the little kid roller coaster in Nickelodeon land. There were a few different characters walking around, but S had no clue who they were -- we don't have cable. She kept calling Sponge Bob "Cheese Bob" because to her he looked like a piece of cheese. I think I would have to agree with her on that one. Anyway, Jimmy Neutron walks over and puts his hand out to her, and she dutifully slaps his hand and gives him five. She then looks down for a moment and then up at me and just giggles and giggles. It was a moment of pure little kid pleasure. In that moment, I thought about where she was last year and how far she has come. Once a child living in an orphanage 3 hours outside of Addis Ababa, then to a transition home in Addis Ababa, with little if anything to call her own, she was now standing in line to ride a little roller coaster and interacting with a cartoon character. She had spent the day eating pizza, running through a water playground, and riding on cars that went in circles. She was far from that land that lacked its secondary rains and, therefore, was facing a famine that may rival that of the '80s. A land running out of food and the doctors have to choose which kids get the PlumpyNut. Instead, she was smiling and laughing and asking what we call this and that. It was a hard moment, and I know, just like with J, I will have more of them.

On a lighter note, one fun moment was standing in line for a ride with J and watching him dance because he needed to go potty. Soon after, we actually had to get out of line at another ride so he could go go go. Yeah, I was happy about that one. E was maybe a bit overwhelmed by it all, but he really did great -- even took a little nap! We paid for this great behavior on the way home when he decided he just had to hold my hand for most of the trip -- that's with me sitting up front and contorting my arm back to him. Yeah, he needed to go to bed.

When we left the park, we completed the day with a little more junk food for the trip home -- Burger King. At one point, I looked back to see all 3 kids wearing their Burger King crowns. How appropriate, my friends. How appropriate.

So, we owe Aunt Jen the biggest thank you in the world. I never feel like I am able to do enough to repay her for her kindness and generosity. But someday, Jen, I will figure it out.

All kids should have an Aunt Jen because she ROCKS!!
:)

HOLY CRAP!!

I'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR FIFTEEN YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday, June 19th, marked 15 years since I walked half-way down the aisle, took the arm of the love of my life, and continued on to the altar with him to make our vows, exchange our rings, and seal it with a kiss.

He still calls me his bride.

As with many things in our life together, I am sure there were many who thought we were nuts for getting married a month after my college graduation. But hey, it was just the start of our craziness together. So, neener-neener-neener to all you doubters out there!

So, what did we do to celebrate our FIFTEEN YEARS of wedded bliss? We got a babysitter (the magnificent Hannah) and went out on a date! Can you believe it?? We left all 3 kids at home and went out for a fabulous dinner at Rosendale's. Easily the best restaurant in Columbus. After our leisurely meal, we strolled the Short North and reveled in the hip-happenin' atmosphere of the restaurants, shops and galleries.

Ya know, our kids have such a non-conventional family: multicultural, multinational, transracial,
and parents who have only been married once, to each other, before they were all born, and now for 15 years.

How crazy are we??
Happy Anniversary to me and my hubba-hubba honey!

my sweet (big) boy

Eight years ago today (June 14) our oldest son, J, did something for me that only he can lay claim to: he made me a mom.

Born in Guatemala, J was already in the U.S. when he was placed with us unexpectedly. We had 5 DAYS to prepare for his arrival -- yeah, we had virtually nothing. Most babies come home to beautifully decorated nurseries that have been waiting for months. Our son came home to a crib (that he hated) set up in our study. Know what? He doesn't seem scarred by the lack of Winnie the Pooh.

On that day eight years ago, we were called by our attorney to get to court -- and to bring a car seat just in case. We nervously waited our turn to speak with the judge and to hear her decision. When we walked out holding J, we were in total amazement. As we drove to M's dad's office to introduce him (on his birthday!!) to his newest grandchild, I kept looking back over my shoulder to the baby in the backseat and saying, "How did this happen?? We really didn't have much to do with this did we? No, really. How did this happen?"

After a very long journey to become a mom, it was just plain shocking to realize that I had a child in the car and he was mine. He was beautiful, healthy, and mine. This is a child that looks nothing like me, that shares none of my dna, and who has gifts beyond my imagination. Regardless of our differences, he was born from my heart if not from my body and has a claim on a large part of my soul. When I think of what had to occur for J to become our son, I am in awe and wonderment. I thank God everyday for this gift of a child.

There really is more than one way to become a parent. Trust me.
"The Spirit moves in mysterious ways."

Love you my sweet boy.

clean up clean up everybody everywhere!

Alert! Alert! I think we have again reached a new stage!

Over the weekend, hubby and I started talking about things we wanted to do around the house -- mainly organizational. Many people know that I can't stand clutter and "stuff" piling up. Drives me crazy. (By the way, this is only in my own house; other people's clutter is other people's clutter.) My dream is the day when we can live minimally and not have so much crap in the house, which I inevitably have to clean. (It will help when J either stops being a pack rat or goes off to college. "No, mom! Don't throw away that paper/wrapper/toilet paper roll -- I'm using that!") I've lived with the clutter and accumulation of stuff over the past 6.5 months because I have had more important things to deal with.

But this weekend, while discussing some things we could do to reorganize and jobs we could tackle, it occurred to me that I was ready. I am ready to take on house projects again!! The ideas we have aren't big ones, but it makes me feel like the big ones can be done. I am sure this has to be meaningful. Please don't burst my bubble if it's not because it sure feels like a step forward.

Now here's the challenge: holding on to the motivation until the time when we can actually put some of our ideas into action -- likely next weekend. Oh, and trying to make it happen while refereeing the 3 kiddos. Now THAT would be something to crow about!

:)

latest and greatest mumblerrr news

School's out! Everybody shout!

Can't believe it. J is now a 3rd grader. Not sure how that happened. After a successful second grade year, we are hoping for more of the same in the fall. Although if we can get him to expand his vocab beyond certain body parts and functions, we will be quite pleased.

In other news. . .

The mama has gone back to work! I have recently taken a part-time position with a local university, and I love it. As a result of this employment, E and S have started spending a few hours at daycare. I was a bit concerned, especially with E and how he would do, but after a few shy sessions, he is jumping right in. "School" is a big hit with newest Mumblerrrs.

S comes home everyday with a new craft, or "crap," as she calls her creations. Not because it looks like crap, but because that is how she says the word. "Look at the crap I made today, mommy! It's a turtle!"

In more S school stories, apparently one of the teachers was asking for volunteers to play a card game. She was hoping for one of the slightly older kids, but S was the one who wanted to play. She didn't think S would get it, but she sat her down and explained the game anyway. The teacher then asked S to explain it back to her, and she was surprised when S did it. She told M that S was one smart little girl. Imagine her surprise when M said, "And you know she has only been speaking English for 6 months, right?" Uh, nope. Apparently that word hadn't gotten to her.

E, still the mama's boy, seems to be well into his terrible twos before actually hitting that magic number. S is in the "why" phase. Everything has to be followed up with a question. Have to admit, it is driving me nuts at times. J is showing more and more moments of enjoying his sibs. I was shocked the other night when S went to say goodnight to him and he actually told her he loved her. (insert scooby-doo reaction: huhhhh?!) It may have just been a mindless goodnight reaction, but it's a start!

Happy summer everyone!

:)

6 million minus 2

Thanks to Jenni for this CNN link:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/africa/05/20/ethiopia.children/index.html

"We have nothing to feed our children."

6 million children under the age of 5 are at risk.

more than 120,000 have only about a month to live.

Mother Nature brings us earthquakes and cyclones and tornadoes. She hits the world unexpectedly and shocks us with her devastation. Our compassion compels us to send aid and resources to help those in desperate need. Unfortunately, we sometimes forget that Mother

Nature can also be silent and still be horrendously devastating. As she quietly withholds the rains for days and weeks and months, she brings about the starvation of millions.

I look at my two Ethiopian children under the age of 5, and I can't help think about what might have been. It turns my stomach and forces me to push the thought away. My children. All three with plenty of food. All three with clean water. All three with access to health care and medicines.

The children in Ethiopia and others across the globe are all God's children. Therefore, they are all our children. They are all my children. Please do what you can.

parentitis, a sensibility disease

You know, there are times in our lives when we make senseless choices. Maybe we guzzled too much cheap beer or actually enhaled that weed. Maybe hormones were making us stupid. Or maybe it was peer pressure -- everybody was doing it!

Or maybe we became parents.

On Sunday, J and I went to the monthly gathering for Central Ohio Families of Latin American Children (COFLAC) and had a great time. While he played on the jungle gym/climbing thingy, I got to have some adult conversation with the other parents. We were talking about work when one of the moms remarked that she went back to work part-time. She said that when they adopted their first child that she left her full-time job to stay home. Then, they realized that since she was staying home anyway that maybe they should go ahead and adopt a second child. She said, "It made no sense: We cut our income in half and more than doubled our debt."

Said that way, she was right. It made no sense. However, as someone who adopted 2 and chose to stay home for awhile, it made perfect sense to me. There is something about being or becoming a parent that seems to encourage us to make choices that others find completely crazy. More than once M and I have made decisions that I am sure have left others scratching their heads. (Like the time we moved to San Antonio without jobs. Or the time we moved to St. Louis without jobs. Or the time we moved to Ohio without jobs. Well, technically Mark had one but it disappeared before we moved and then reappeared later.) And while I would admit that perhaps we could have more money and more stuff and more advanced careers, I am guessing that we wouldn't have the children we have (and perhaps would be child free), wouldn't have lived in different cities, wouldn't now live as close to our friends and families as we do, and would not have experienced the variety and spice of life that we have to this point. Trust me, I will take all of that over the feeling that I didn't follow my heart, my gut, my instincts.

So, if you are a parent or are about to become one and you find yourself making choices that most would consider stupid or insane, don't worry. At some point, you will find yourself making sensible choices again. But, I think there are times in our lives when we are pushed to do things that sound nutty when spoken out loud. As long as you are not under the influence of mind-altering substances, I give you permission to accept the craziness. Follow your heart, your gut, your instincts and give your child some raspberries on the belly. Their laughter will justify it all.

:)